Before We Sleep
by Florencia7
Summary: Post 5x13-ish. Damon & Elena have to deal with pervasive consequences of the damage Katherine's caused, including the tragic turn of events that makes one of them a lethal threat to the other. Enlisting Enzo's help, Elena will stop at nothing to prevent the worst from happening, but is love enough to save all of them? Sometimes it's the right choices that turn out to be deadliest.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: **I know I said I wouldn't write another story before the S5 finale, but with RL being weird & complicated I needed an escape, so here it is :) This is an unbetad, spur-of-the-moment fic, so I apologize in advance for any mistakes. When I was proofreading it I noticed I kept writing Denzo instead of Enzo, so anything is possible lol

**Summary: **Post 5x13-ish. Damon and Elena have to deal with pervasive consequences of all the damage Katherine has caused, including the tragic turn of events that now makes one of them a lethal threat to the other. Enlisting Enzo's help, Elena will stop at nothing to prevent the worst from happening, but is love and friendship enough to save all of them? Sometimes it's the right choices that turn out to be deadliest. DELENA.

I'm skipping over the technicalities of Katherine dying/Elena coming back, because a) we all know that's going to happen anyway, b) OK, the real reason is that this story would be too long if I didn't haha, c) & I want to post all the chapters (there are just 5 of them anyway) before our show returns on the 27th, d) I think right now we all crave DE together angst more than DE apart angst ;)

**Disclaimer:** _The Vampire Diaries_ belongs to L.J. Smith & CW. The title is a paraphrase of a line from Robert Frost's poem _Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening_.

**Before We Sleep**

**Chapter 1**

"Elena..."

Damon repeated her name for what felt to Elena like a hundredth time.

His voice was barely audible, but persistent, a breathless whisper that seemed to beckon her in the darkness like a faint but inextinguishable ray of light and each time she heard him say her name she found it a little easier to breathe, easier to hear, easier to move.

When Elena opened her eyes it was still dark around her. The cold wind was brushing over her skin, lightly tugging on her hair, but she couldn't feel anything apart from the intensity of his gaze, his eyes boring into hers, dark with determination, hope and so much pain and love that she just wanted to wrap her arms around him and stay like that forever, never letting go.

"Damon," she mouthed his name, drawing a breath. Her hands curling up, she noticed that he was holding her hands in his.

There was a grimace that passed through his face that nearly broke her heart, because it seemed to convey everything she had felt for the last several weeks when she had been locked up in complete darkness, in unbreakable silence, only able to be a powerless witness to everything that was happening around 'her'. All the hurtful words that 'she' had said that weren't hers. All the damage 'she' had caused that wasn't her doing. All the pain 'she' had inflicted she would've never allowed for. And she didn't know if it was a curse or a blessing that this state hadn't lasted and soon she had lost any consciousness of what had been happening around 'her' and was just left hanging in the darkness that seemed to stretch in all directions, drowning her in solitary silence.

One of Damon's hands slipped out of Elena's grip and she felt panic rise up inside her like it had risen up that night in his arms when she had suddenly felt excruciating pain tear through her. It had felt like she was being pushed out of every part of her body, out of her every thought, all at once.

But this time the panic subsided and the darkness didn't drag her into the empty abyss. Instead, Damon just used his free hand to pull the dagger that was stuck in her chest out of her body. He tossed it away, his hand returning to hers, his eyes fixed on her face with attentiveness that used to puzzle her before it became the most reliable aspect of her world.

When Elena whispered his name again, Damon wondered how he could have ever missed the lack of this warmth in her voice that night when 'she' had told him that they were over. It seemed so clear now, so obvious that it wasn't her, that it couldn't have been her, that she couldn't have said it.

He looked into her eyes that were now filled with tears, with dismay and sadness that suddenly transformed itself into breathtaking relief, into silent elation and without thinking, ignoring the guilt of the last weeks weighing on his shoulders, with hands that felt so dirty he knew he shouldn't dare touching her right now, Damon grabbed Elena by the shoulders and pulled her into an embrace, crushing her to him, sliding his fingers into her hair, cradling her head against his chest, kissing the side of her face, whispering her name.

Elena's arms locked around him and Damon's heart clenched when she clung to him, whispered his name between stifled sobs, shuddered in his arms. His breath caught in his throat. There was no other feeling in this world he knew equally well as the feeling that rushed through him when he was holding her. The familiarity of her voice, of her words that she had been saying, shouting between laughs, panting, whispering to him all summer was now enveloping him anew and he couldn't help sinking into the sensation, into the safety of her closeness, of her feelings emanating off her eyes when she looked at him, pulsating on her lips when she kissed him.

They both seemed to forget that there were other people around them.

Bonnie glanced at Caroline whose thoughts must have been mirroring hers, she thought, when she noticed the expression on Caroline's face. They both wondered how they could have ever believed that lightheartedly indifferent, detached post-break-up attitude. Jeremy closed his eyes, trapping the tears of joy under his eyelids. Bonnie squeezed his hand and he looked at her, returning her smile as radiantly as he could. Matt draped his arm over Caroline's shoulders half-jocularly ordering her to smile. She bit her lip, trying to fulfill his request, but failing miserably and bursting into tears instead.

Stefan watched the scene in front of him through half-hooded eyes, a part of him so completely at peace, so indescribably glad and relieved – but another part unable to stop replaying the last weeks' events with bitter acknowledgment of his wishful thinking-induced naivety.

Elena looked up at Damon and smiled through her tears, her hands clenching around his shoulders.

Stefan wondered what she was going to say when she would learn about all the latest events, about threatening Bonnie, Jeremy almost dying again. About Aaron Whitmore.

But then Damon pressed his lips to Elena's, not exactly kissing her, but just keeping his lips on hers while holding her in his arms and she cupped his face in her hands, nails digging in his skin hard enough to draw blood, tears rolling down her cheeks, and Stefan thought that maybe they were all underestimating what was between Damon and Elena, that maybe there was nothing they wouldn't forgive each other for.

Elena's lips skimmed across Damon's face and she whispered into his ear: "I heard every word." She pressed her cheek to his, tears trapped in between their skin. Damon opened his eyes wide for a second before a smile that flickered across his face turned into a wry, resigned grimace and he closed his eyes again, pressing Elena as close to him as possible. She snuggled her face into his neck, her lips grazing his skin when she whispered the words _she_ had wanted to say, the words he had hoped to hear that night when they had been torn apart.

Out of the corner of his eye, Stefan noticed a movement and shifted his eyes to Enzo who took a step backwards as if suddenly feeling out of place, that cynical glint gone from his gaze, replaced by some kind of confusion, regret, maybe envy, Stefan wasn't sure what exactly, but he was sure all their problems were most likely not going to end with Katherine's long overdue demise.

"That's really heartwarming and all, but I really think we need to go now," Enzo said, squinting.

"Well, fortunately, no one really cares what you think," Stefan replied immediately and Caroline's eyes darted to him. She exchanged a look with Bonnie and Jeremy before slowly making her way toward Stefan who held Enzo's gaze without blinking.

Enzo's lips stretched into a crooked, humorless half-smile. "I think they need an update," he said, catching Damon's grim gaze.

Elena glanced between them. "What's going on?" She asked quietly, her hands still anchored on Damon's shoulders.

"Our latest nemesis Dr. Wes stabbed me with his super-serum," Damon said with a wry grimace, his hand lingering on Elena's arm a moment longer before it slowly slid off her hand.

Elena widened her eyes at him. "What?"

Damon stood up, helping Elena rise to her feet as well, her eyes never shifting away from him in the process.

"What serum?" Bonnie asked, confused, looking to Jeremy who shook his head and shrugged, not knowing the answer either.

"A cannibal serum," Enzo said, looking between everyone. "Makes vampires feed on vampires. Although 'feed' is probably a slight understatement," he added with a mirthless snort.

Caroline looked at Stefan who was glaring at Enzo as if he was somehow responsible for what had happened.

"Is there an antidote?" Elena asked, turning her gaze back to Damon, grasping his shoulders.

"Not any that we know of," Enzo replied. "And apparently, a true love's kiss can't do the trick either," he snarled weakly.

He wanted to add something yet, but was caught off guard when Stefan suddenly zoomed toward him and snapped his neck.

"Sorry, I just can't stand the guy," Stefan said in a low voice glancing grimly between everyone. Caroline gave him a faint smile. "Let's go home and talk there."

"That's a great idea," Caroline agreed. "But I need to do something first," she added in a suddenly faltering voice and with a teary grimace on her face threw her arms over Elena. Damon took a step back.

Bonnie quickly joined the hug. "We're so sorry," she whispered.

Caroline nodded. "We should've figured it out sooner."

"It's OK," Elena said, smiling through her tears and drawing back, freeing one of her hands and grabbing Damon's hand before he stepped further away. Their eyes locked and Bonnie and Caroline exchanged a look, releasing Elena from their embrace.

Jeremy nodded, giving Elena quick hug as well. "It's good to have you back," he said and snorted brokenly at the sentence that both conveyed exactly what he felt and yet couldn't possibly describe the extent of how happy he felt in this moment.

Elena smiled back before shifting her eyes to Stefan who took a few hesitant steps toward them. "It is," he seconded Jeremy's words with a faint, warm smile. "And I wanted to apologize," he added with a small sigh. Elena shook her head in confusion.

"She... I... I didn't want to... I mean, it wasn't my fault, I wasn't-"

"Stefan, it's OK," Elena said with a soft smile, sensing the utter discomfort in his tone. "Whatever happened, it's OK," she added, hoping that this would settle the matter, whatever it was, but then Damon cut in.

"Excuse me, but... what wasn't your fault, exactly?" Damon asked acidly, tilting his head to the side.

Stefan averted his eyes for a second before glancing at Damon and then looking back at Elena with a slightly embarrassed frown. "She... kissed me and I... kissed her back."

And then Bonnie and Jeremy just rolled their eyes while Caroline's widened in indignation when Damon, without removing one hand from around Elena's, used his free hand to punch Stefan in the face.

"Damon," Elena said in what Caroline considered to be way too mild a tone of mere exasperation.

"Seriously?!" Caroline exclaimed, glaring at Damon. "Did you just punch him because he kissed fake Elena who broke up with you?!"

"He didn't know it wasn't Elena," Damon snapped.

"But he knew she broke up with you," Caroline retorted parodying the melody of his voice.

"She didn't," Damon said through his teeth and then drew a sharp intake of breath and seemed to hold it without breathing out for a long time.

Elena looked at him and felt a wave of warmth cascade over her at the expression that flashed through his face, as if it was only now, when he had said the words out loud, that he realized what they meant.

"Caroline, I kind of deserved that," Stefan said in a reconciliatory tone.

"No, you didn't," Caroline insisted.

"Weren't we suppose to go home?" Bonnie intervened, shooting Caroline a meaningful look.

"Should I put him in one of the cars?" Jeremy asked, gesturing to Enzo.

Damon gave him a small nod before sweeping Elena into his arms and carried her away.

She gasped in surprise, but then just slid her arms around his neck and rested her forehead against the side of his face, feeling him relax under her touch.

"You shouldn't have hit him," Elena said softly, her lips brushing against his cheek as she spoke.

"I know," Damon replied immediately with a brief grimace and she smiled weakly.

She watched his profile for a while, tracing with her eyes all the lines on his face like she was mentally tracing memories, all the dark moments when he was always by her side and all the bright mornings they had shared this summer.

"I'm all yours, only yours," Elena whispered against his skin. On an impulse, feeling a tremor run through him, she moved her mouth to his ear. "Every piece of my heart, every inch of my body-"

Next thing she knew, she was back on her feet, locked in his arms, her lips captured in a passionate kiss that she returned with desperate ferocity, through this kiss letting go of all the fear and grief she had felt these past few weeks petrified that what she had lost was lost forever.

Somehow it was only now, with Elena trembling in his arms, her lips molding into his, that the full realization came upon Damon, that what had marked the end of hope and happiness had never actually happened, that it hadn't been real. That it was this moment now that was real. Elena kissing him, clinging to him, whispering that she loved him. That was real. She was real. They were real.

"Great," Caroline said dryly, looking toward Damon and Elena while Matt was putting still unconscious Enzo into his car. "She's practically back from the dead and instead of being taken care of she has to be taking care of his jealousy issues."

"That's the way they were behaving all summer, I'm not sure it has anything to do with jealousy specifically," Jeremy muttered non-committally.

Bonnie snorted. "Yeah, when I was a ghost, spying on them was kind of traumatizing."

Jeremy grimaced with disgust and stepped into the car.

xxxdelenaxxx

Once they got to the boarding house, Stefan carried Enzo downstairs to lock him up in one of the cells, but before Elena had a chance to start questioning the validity of exact reasons for that, her attention was drawn to Stefan opening another cell and shifting his mildly questioning gaze to Damon.

Elena blinked, when Damon's fingers began sliding out of hers.

"Wait, what are you doing?" She asked, quickly closing her hand, refusing to let go of his.

"Elena..." Stefan started gently. "Until we find the way to fix this- until we find the antidote, it's better-"

"No," Elena interrupted him, her eyes darting to Damon, who wasn't looking at her, his expression grim, but there was more to the look on his face than just sadness and Elena's heart clenched painfully as she started wondering what else, what more had happened during those weeks that she had missed. All she knew was what Katherine had been doing. She had been aware of her every move, of everything she had done and said while pretending to be her, but she had no knowledge of events happening when and where Katherine had not been present. "I just got you back," Elena whispered, feeling fresh tears well up in her eyes when he looked at her with that glint of decisiveness in his eyes that she knew only too well.

Damon gritted his teeth, tearing his eyes away from her. "Stefan's right," he said in a strangely even, hushed voice. "Although instead of staying locked up, I think it'd be better if I went to find it myself. I'd rather you stay away from Dr. Hyde," he said wryly.

"He already knows about us," Stefan said with a shrug. "Doesn't matter if you're out or not. But I think limiting the number of dead vampires while searching for the antidote might help keeping a low profile."

"Yes, but we can search for the antidote together," Elena said earnestly.

"Elena, I can't control it," Damon said tonelessly. "I can hurt you."

"You won't," Elena replied immediately and Damon winced, a mirthless, bitter snort passing through his face.

Stefan exhaled slowly, but said nothing.

"Could we go upstairs and just talk for a few moments?" Elena asked, sensing that there was something hanging in the air that they weren't telling her.

"Frankly, I don't think that's a good idea," Stefan said dejectedly.

Elena looked at Damon who seemed to agree with Stefan and somehow this frustrated her more than anything.

"I just spent six weeks knowing people I care about suffer and being unable to do anything about it. Please don't make me feel like this nightmare hasn't ended," Elena said in a firm, determined voice, looking between them.

She braced herself for an argument, but neither of them said anything, so with cautious relief she tightened her hold on Damon's hand and pulled him with her out of the basement.

When they walked into their bedroom, she closed the door and turned to him.

"You didn't try to feed on any of us just yet, so maybe it's not that bad?" She asked hopefully, deciding to tackle the most urgent matter first.

Damon turned toward her, but his strangely listless gaze kept wandering off, as if he was afraid to look her straight in the eye. "Not being hungry helps. But it doesn't last for long. An hour at most," he added with a sour, self-loathing half-smile that began to upset Elena more and more.

She looked at him, wondering why now, after everything that had happened, now that they were finally alone, he was standing a few feet away from her, not even looking directly at her, that ardent joy she had seen in his eyes when she had returned to herself, now transformed into this perplexing, utter sadness that seemed so engraved into his features, making it almost hard to believe he had ever been able to smile in a happy, carefree way.

Biting her lip, Elena marched up to him and slapped him.

Somehow he seemed simultaneously startled and not surprised at all. But at least his eyes glided to her and remained focused on her and he didn't look away when she spoke.

"How could you believe what she said?" Elena asked, hoping to say everything she wanted to say in a steady voice, but as it turned out, her voice broke in the middle of the very first sentence. "How could you think I could say those things to you?" Elena drew a breath, trying to blink back the tears, but causing them to roll down her cheeks even faster instead. "How could you think that after running to you, throwing myself into your arms, clinging to you, after listening to what you said, how you said it, I could possibly respond in such a cold, matter-of-fact, cruel way?" She trailed off, failing at stifling a sob that seemed ripped out straight from her soul.

Damon stared at her with tears in his eyes that wouldn't fall, but were making the mournful, dismayed, disconsolate look on his face even more striking. "I don't know," he said in a barely audible voice.

"I love you so much," Elena whispered ardently, choking on her tears. "How could you not see that I wasn't looking at you that night the way I'm looking at you right now?" She asked in a trembling whisper, shaking from crying, her eyes shining with what only for a moment seemed like anger, but then it melted into the expression of agonizing pain.

There was so much he needed to tell her, so much he thought she should know before even wishing to speak to him again, but in that moment everything ceased to matter and nothing seemed capable of undermining what burned with such strength between them.

And so without giving it any proper thought, Damon flung himself forward, pulled Elena into his arms and captured her lips in a bruising kiss. His fingers tangled in her hair when he angled her head to the side to deepen the kiss.

Elena kissed him back with unrestrained passion that sent hot shivers across his skin when she slid her hands under his shirt, impatiently pulling it off his shoulders.

He dragged his mouth across her cheek, tasting her tears that seemed to remind him about something and he broke another heated kiss, seizing her by the arms and whispering with as much coherence as he could muster that there was something he needed to tell her, that there was so many things he needed to tell her-

But she shook her head, silencing him with a kiss, pressing herself closer to him. He held her face in his hands and sprinkled soft kisses all over her cheeks, eyelids, her forehead, not sure anymore if telling her about what had happened in the last few weeks was dictated by the desire to do the right thing by her or rather just a selfish wish to soothe his conscience, solicit an absolution before-

"I need this," Elena breathed against his lips, as if reading his thoughts and when he looked into her eyes he saw that she was at least suspecting the dark words or deeds he wanted to confess, but deliberately wished to postpone hearing about them. "I need this right now. I feel so..." she trailed off with a broken sigh, clutching his shoulder with one hand, her other hand skimming over the skin of his neck, "dirty," she said almost inaudibly. "It was so disgusting, horrifying, having her _be _me. I can't explain it, but it was just... I just... I need to feel that this is me again, Damon. I need to feel like myself again," she whispered in a faltering voice, looking between his eyes and his mouth.

Damon looked at her, a lingering doubt that he was taking advantage of the situation evaporating under the intensity of Elena's gaze. Without breaking the eye contact with her, he traced the outline of her face with the backs of his fingers and she leaned her head into his touch. He pushed the straps of her dress off her shoulders and starting at the corner of her mouth, brushed his lips across hers and then began kissing his way down her neck while disposing of the remaining pieces of fabric separating them.

Tenderly, she brought his head back to the level of her face and kissed him. He leaned his forehead against hers and they both opened their eyes, looking at each other with their lips inches apart, their breathing becoming more labored with every second.

"I missed you," Damon murmured, trailing his fingers up her back. "I missed telling you that I love you." He sifted his hand through her hair with a small grimace. "I love you, Elena," he whispered and Elena gave him a brief, bright smile that made the remnants of tears escape from under her eyelids. She blinked and then closed her eyes when he drew back only to slant his lips across hers, crashing her to him and shutting off the darkness around them with kisses that ignited brightness under her eyelids and brought tranquility despite their feverish harshness.

xxxdelenaxxx

Bonnie gave Caroline a questioning look when she came back into the room, slumped into a chair and said nothing.

"Is Elena OK? Are they still talking?" Bonnie prompted, glancing at Stefan, Jeremy and Matt who were also looking at Caroline.

Caroline huffed in slight exasperation. "Well, whatever they _were_ talking about, it looks like Damon failed to mention that his friend put a plastic bag over Jeremy's head and tried to choke him to death," Caroline muttered sourly.

Matt raised his eyebrows, hearing the story for the first time. Stefan seemed a little confused and so did Bonnie, but only until Caroline shot her a look that made Bonnie raised her eyebrows and then squeeze her eyes shut for a second.

Jeremy glanced between them with his brows furrowed, but then rolled his eyes throwing himself against the back of the couch. "So what do we do now?"

"How can you be so blasé about all of this?" Caroline demanded, crossing her arms over her chest.

"Honestly, after you get murdered five times in one year you don't really pay attention to attempted murders anymore," Jeremy said with a brief smile.

"That and try to talk Elena out of being with him," Bonnie added, resting her head on Jeremy's shoulder.

Caroline leaned her head on her elbow and sighed.

"Do we know for sure that this doctor guy has an antidote?" Matt asked after a moment of silence, leaning forward with a thoughtful frown on his face.

"We don't even know if there is an antidote," Stefan said somberly.

Bonnie sighed. "I couldn't perform a spell even if I found one. But of course I'll try to find something anyway."

"Can't we just drain him, vervain him and compel him not to drink vampire blood?" Caroline asked matter-of-factly with hopeful glint her eyes as she looked to Stefan for approval.

Stefan looked a little skeptical. "I don't think we can compel him-"

"I know," Caroline cut him off, gritting her teeth in slight discomfort. "I meant 'we' as in... I meant that we could ask... Klaus... or Rebekah," she added quickly, her eyes darting to Matt.

"Actually..." Matt said, drawing a breath. "I already called her. Or tried to call her," he amended before Caroline's smile returned. "She doesn't pick up. I left her a message, but she didn't call me back yet."

With a resigned sigh, Caroline pulled out her phone and after glaring at it for a few seconds pressed the call button. She waited to no avail, shrugging in response to everyone's questioning looks and repeated the action a couple of times, before leaving a voice message and hanging up.

"How about Elijah?" Jeremy asked and Stefan nodded slowly before making a call.

No response.

"Did all the Originals dumped their phones or something?" Caroline huffed in annoyance.

"Rebekah did mention they had quite a bit of trouble in New Orleans," Matt said with a hint of worry in his tone.

"Yeah, trouble," Caroline snorted humorlessly. "It's not like they can be killed, right?"

"Witch trouble, Caroline," Matt said, glancing at Bonnie. "Anything is possible."

"Oh, come on," Caroline crossed her arms over her chest and gave her phone another stern look before allowing the idea to even enter her mind, but when it did, a worried frown appeared on Caroline's forehead despite her best efforts to look merely irritated.

xxxdelenaxxx

Damon gathered Elena into his arms, her tousled hair tingling his skin when she softly leaned her head on his chest, a small smile tugging on her lips when she whispered his name in half-sleep without opening her eyes.

Lowering his lips to her cheek, Damon moved his lips along the side of her face before burying his nose in her hair, breathing in her scent, her presence.

Elena snuggled as close to him as possible and he tightened his embrace around her, feeling her skin under his open palm splayed over her back. He lifted his head and pressed small kisses to her shoulder.

Gently, he brushed a few strands of hair off her forehead and looked at her sleeping face, tracing the contour of her lips with his fingertips.

"_But you know what the best part is?" Dr. Wes Maxfield tilted his head to the side, his face becoming increasingly blurred with every split second until it was nothing but an amorphous shadow uttering the words in distorted tones. "That within 72 hours it will all end anyway." He smiled sardonically, stepping away with the syringe still in his hand. "Because 72 hours from now, you will be dead."_


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: **Thank you so much for all of your amazing reviews! :):):)

**Disclaimer:** _The Vampire Diaries_ belongs to L.J. Smith & CW.

**Chapter 2**

Elena woke up with Damon's arms wrapped so tightly around her she could hardly move. Smiling to herself she pressed a few soft kisses to his lips, his chin and his hand before gently freeing herself from his embrace and slipping out of bed.

She kept her eyes on him as she was quickly and quietly getting dressed, putting on her skirt and buttoning up his shirt.

She went to the bathroom and brushed her hair just enough for it not to look outrageously disheveled and then sneaked out of the room and soundlessly ran down the stairs all the way into the basement, grabbing a blood bag on the way.

When she stepped on her tiptoes in front of one of the cells, her eyes immediately met Enzo's wary gaze. He was sitting facing the door, with his back against the wall, one leg bent. Elena had expected he wouldn't be asleep.

Tucking her hair behind her ears, she braced herself and with a determined frown took a small step back and unlocked the door, letting more light inside the cell when she opened the door all the way.

Enzo didn't move, just looked at her with a sardonic glint in his eyes that seemed so habitual and well-trained that Elena felt a pang of sympathy at that.

She stepped inside, but her hand lingered on the door. "Are you OK?" She asked unsmilingly. "I brought you this," she added when he didn't answer her previous question. She extended her hand with a blood bag to him.

Squinting, Enzo tilted his head to the side, looking as if he found something about her very amusing. But the amusement slightly faltered when Elena continued.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry... about this," she said, glancing around the cell. "That's a very unfortunate idea. It's just that... my friends didn't really know what to do. Neither do I," she added with a small sigh.

Enzo's mouth twitched, but he quickly resumed his lazily sarcastic attitude. "Just on the contrary," he said with bleak cheerfulness. "Most fortunate one. After all, I spent over 70 years in a cell like that," he said, extending his arms and leaning his head against the wall behind him. "Feels like home, really."

He looked at Elena intently, searching her face for signs of annoyance, impatient indifference, but finding only sadness and compassion in her eyes. It would've irritated him if it didn't seem so sincere.

Allowing his cynical smile fade off his face a little, he asked in a dispassionate tone that nonetheless still held a note of hostility. "So how may I help you, princess?"

Elena's hand slid off the door and she wrapped her arms around herself, taking a slow step inside the cell. She averted her eyes from him and when she looked back at him a moment later, there was a fiery hint of anger in her eyes that wasn't there before.

"Stefan said you turned out to be a... bad friend," she said in a low, grim voice with a nervous, mirthless grimace flickering across her face.

Enzo smirked faintly. "As opposed to... Damon being a good friend and leaving me to die in flames?" He asked in a mockingly reasonable voice.

Elena blinked rapidly, but the flair in her eyes remained unchanged. "He tried to help you," she said in a quiet, but defiant voice. "He wasn't planning on leaving you there. He... turned off his humanity to walk away," she added, her tone dropping to a pained whisper.

Suddenly, swiftly, Enzo rose to his feet and was somewhat impressed that Elena didn't even flinch when he moved to stand right in front of her.

"Am I supposed to feel bad about that?" He asked with a grimace.

"Would you do something else?" Elena asked in a voice even firmer than before. Enzo narrowed his eyes at her. "Would you rather stay and die while trying to free him?"

"Would you?" Enzo shot back and sneered weakly when she didn't immediately respond. Slowly, he started turning around, but stopped when Elena said:

"I was never tortured day after day, hour after hour for five years. Or seventy years," she added and Enzo's eyes darted to her. "I don't have a right to claim I know what I'd do," she said softly, holding the blood bag out to him once again.

She held his gaze in silence for a few seconds and was under the impression that something flashed in his eyes, burned there and then vanished - but when it did, it took the veil of hostility away.

He took the blood bag out of her hand. "That fake break-up really messed him up," Enzo said and Elena's expression fell from defiant to devastated. "And now I think I understand why," Enzo added in a voice that sounded warm and endlessly tired and Elena subconsciously realized that it must've finally been his real voice, devoid of all masking undertones.

She looked back at him and opened her mouth, but only after a few more moments asked in a hushed voice. "There is no antidote, right?"

"Why?" Enzo asked, sincerely curious, because of the sad certainty in her voice.

"In the evening, when we were talking about this with everyone, Damon didn't say a word and seemed almost... not interested."

Enzo looked at her thoughtfully and after a pause asked with careful straightforwardness. "He didn't tell you, did he? Dr. Wes, who, let's not rule out this possibility, very well may be a lying bastard, said that from the moment Damon was stabbed, he had 72 hours."

Elena frowned. "72 hours to do what?" She asked with a twinge of fear piercing through her chest at the vague premonition of something ominous.

"72 hours until he'd die."

Elena's eyes widened in dismay, her breath catching in her throat. "What?"

"What time is it?" Enzo asked and for a moment Elena wasn't able to understand the question.

Then she shook herself out of shock and stammered. "About 1am."

Enzo squinted into the distance. "So it's been... about... 35 hours so far. It means we have 37 hours left."

"So there _is_ an antidote?" Elena asked, looking at him unblinkingly.

"I honestly don't know," Enzo replied in a low voice. "But if I was any expert on mad scientists," he continued with a bitter smile flitting across his face, "I'd say they always make sure to have antidotes that go with their poisons."

Elena looked at him, hope and fear that he was only saying it for her benefit clashing in her eyes, but as always she decided to go with hope.

"We need to go find him, find the antidote. Will you go with us?"

Enzo tilted his head to the side, plucking the blood bag open. "As flattered as I am, may I inquire as to the rationale behind my selection?" He asked with a faint smile, taking a sip.

Elena drew a shaky breath. "Damon won't let me go, won't let me risk being stabbed with this serum too."

"You don't strike me as a girl who lets others tell her what to do," Enzo said, narrowing his eyes at her.

"He can be very... decisive when it comes to my safety," Elena replied and slightly thrust up her chin. "I just have to be more decisive when it comes to his." She paused. "I need to go. I don't want to leave him alone even for a second," she added quietly.

Enzo regarded her for a moment in silence. "There is one little problem, princess. What if as soon as we make it off the driveway he'll rip both of our throats out?"

"He won't," Elena said with conviction. "He'll be feeding on me every hour or so and we'll be fine."

Slowly, Enzo widened his eyes at her. "That's his idea?" He asked with a twinkle in his eyes that told Elena he already knew the answer.

"No," she replied somewhat sternly.

"But he agreed to it?"

"Not yet." Elena sighed. "Look," she continued seeing the mildly amused and very skeptical expression on Enzo's face. "You don't need to go. I'll find another way, somehow. But if you went, maybe you could use this situation to close a chapter of your life, start anew."

"Is this a metaphor for spiritual renewal or controlled homicide? Or both?"

Elena bit her lip. "Once we get the antidote we can compel Dr. Maxfield to go as far away as possible and never think about vampires again," she said matter-of-factly, but then recoiled a little when Enzo just laughed humorlessly at her words.

"Well, what do you know," Enzo muttered with a sour smile. "Spent five years side by side having our eyeballs dissected into tiny pieces over and over again and then he broke free and started dating an actual angel."

"Listen-" Elena started but he cut her off.

"No, now it's your turn to listen, princess," Enzo said, taking a step toward her and looking her straight in the eye as he spoke. "I'm not sending the man who spent eight years puncturing and slitting every cell in my body off to the Bahamas. Not to mention that who knows how many people know about the Augustine experiments. Maybe just a few, maybe hundreds or thousands all over the world. Sending one of them away doesn't solve any problems." He drew a breath and continued. "So just to be clear. I can go with you. I will go with you, because I like him and now I like you, but once the usefulness of Dr. Wes runs its course, I'm going to rip his heart out and frame it," Enzo said, drawing a frame with his hands in the air. "Do we have a deal?"

He extended his hand to Elena who looked between his face and his hand and sighed.

xxxdelenaxxx

"Are you out of your mind?" Bonnie hissed, hardly keeping herself from raising her voice.

"Bonnie, please, be quiet," Elena whispered, glancing around and softly closing the library door behind them. "You need to find someone who can do a locator spell and text me when you do. We'll go to Whitmore first anyway. I don't want to lose a single minute, but it'd help a lot if instead of blindly searching for him we'd know where he is."

Bonnie briefly wondered if Elena even knew about the last time she was 'asked' to find someone to do a locator spell, but under the circumstances decided to keep biting comments to herself.

"Elena, you can't go with them. You can't go with Damon. You shouldn't go anywhere with him right now. He can kill you!" Bonnie's eyes pierced through Elena in a desperate attempt to make her see what Bonnie thought was glaringly obvious, but somehow Elena apparently opted for temporarily ignoring all the logic in the world.

"He'd never do that."

"How do you know?"

"I know."

Bonnie huffed in exasperation. "Elena, he's not in control of himself!" Bonnie insisted. "You should know that best. These past weeks you weren't in control either. Katherine was. If she would've decided to kill me, there was zero you could've done to stop her. Same with Damon right now."

"It's not the same kind of situation," Elena protested. "I really don't have time to discuss this right now, but... I think I know how to keep him from attacking anyone until we find the antidote."

"You _think_?"

"Bonnie." Elena grasped Bonnie's hands and looked her straight in the eye. "I love him. There's nothing I wouldn't risk for him, so don't try to change my mind on the account of my own safety, because in this situation I couldn't possibly care less about that."

Bonnie looked at her, her face contorted in a grimace of common sense battling with understanding. At last she gave in and sighed in resignation, giving Elena a small nod.

xxxdelenaxxx

It wasn't particularly easy, but it also wasn't very difficult to convince Damon to get up in the middle of the night, get dressed and even follow Elena stealthily down the stairs and out of the house.

Of course once they were outside and Damon saw Enzo waiting by his camaro, he knew something not very romantic was up.

"Elena-"

Elena covered Damon's mouth with her hand, smiling faintly at the hint of warning in his voice that she had anticipated with unwavering certainty.

"Damon, we need to find the antidote and I'm going," she said quietly, looking him in the eye, moving her hand to cup his cheek.

"Elena," he said her name in a lighthearted, sing-song voice that turned grimly decisive the next moment, "you're not going."

Elena dropped her hand and sighed.

"Yes, we knew you'd say that," Enzo said with a hint of amusement in his voice, appearing right next to them. He smiled and without further ado snapped Damon's neck.

Elena caught Damon as he was falling and lowered him gently to the ground with her. "I didn't even start convincing him," she said a little miffed, glancing up at Enzo.

"Come on, princess. We both know you wouldn't have convinced him anyway, so why waste time?" Enzo said with a shrug.

With a sigh, Elena cradled Damon's head to her chest and pressed a kiss to the top of his head.

xxxdelenaxxx

Damon's eyes fluttered open and as soon as they did he knew he wasn't _dead_ dead yet, because if he was, waking up with his face in Elena's cleavage would've meant he had gone to heaven instead of hell and that was not even a remote possibility.

He tilted his head backwards and sure enough, his eyes met Elena's soft gaze.

"Hi," she whispered, threading her fingers through his hair.

"Hi," Damon replied with a half-heartedly resentful frown, pulling himself to the upright position and moving to sit next to Elena on the backseat of his camaro, Elena's hand lingering on his arm before settling down over his hand.

Damon glanced around, his frown deepening at the sight of Enzo in the driver's seat shooting him a smirk over his shoulder.

"Did you ask him to snap my neck?" Damon asked, turning his gaze back to Elena. He stretched his arm, the unpleasant feeling of stiffness gradually wearing off.

"I admit, it was a cathartic experience," Enzo observed with feigned solemnity.

Damon narrowed his eyes at him.

"Damon," Elena started, cupping his face in her hands, turning his head toward her again. She gave him a faint smile, but then as if remembering something, dropped her hands and her smile. "You didn't tell me that we just have a few hours to find the antidote!" she said with ardent anxiety in her voice.

"34 hours as of now," Enzo said, glancing at the clock and continuing checking out different radio stations. "Is that music?" He muttered to himself, wincing at a rap song.

"Elena-" Damon started in an equally upset voice, but then when he looked at her he fell silent, veins appearing on his face, covering it faster than Elena had ever seen on anyone before.

Damon's eyes flashed red and he groaned, reaching for the door handle. The door turned out to be locked, so he lifted his foot, preparing to kick the car door out of its frame, but before he had the time to do so, Elena caught him off guard by pulling him toward her by the lapels of his shirt.

"No! Wait!" She used all of her vampire strength to tug him to her and keep him in place, the veins pulsating, his bloodshot eyes gleaming with thirst. "Just feed on me. It's OK."

Damon looked at her as if she had just gone completely insane. "I won't be able to stop, Elena! I will _kill_ you!" He said through his teeth, his fangs appearing and he felt as if he was breaking his own bones fighting against his body, against the urge to lunge forward, the urge to grab her and sink his teeth into her veins. He tried to push Elena away but she held onto him with all her might.

Enzo watched the scene in the mirror, glancing from time to time over his shoulder. "I'll stop the car, but calm down for a second," he said, catching Damon's gaze.

"No, don't stop the car!" Elena protested. "We have no time for that! Damon!" She launched herself toward him and sat straddling him, blocking his movements. "Damon, please," she cradled his face in her hands and inched her face closer to his, caressing his skin with her thumbs, easing the veins down a little.

Damon's hands gripped her hips and he was about to toss Elena to the side and break out of the car at last, but in a surprise move Elena forced his mouth down to the side of her neck, causing his fangs to break through her skin and once they did, the taste of blood flooded all of his senses and the battle was lost.

Instead of pushing her away, he began pulling her to him more and more, drinking so deeply and so fast that Elena closed her eyes with a gasp, feeling lightheaded almost right away.

They had been feeding on each other during the summer, but it was always just a fun, sexy interlude with Damon being more gentle with her than she was with him. But right now it actually crossed Elena's mind that perhaps he wasn't exaggerating the danger due to his overprotective instincts and that she might be in fact underestimating the merciless strength of the serum and how it affected him.

"Damon..." Elena muttered, her voice breaking into a muffled moan, fierce pain shooting through her with every gulp.

When she made an effort to open her eyes, she could still see her arms wrapped around Damon, but somehow she couldn't feel her arms at all. She had a bizarre, acute feeling of her consciousness steaming out of her.

"Damon..."

Gripping the steering wheel with both hands, Enzo kept shifting his attention from the road to the scene behind him, his eyes on alert, as he was trying to decide if it was already time to interfere.

With the last ounce of strength, Elena pressed her lips to Damon's ear and whispered his name once again.

In the mirror, Enzo saw her hands lifelessly slide down from around Damon's neck and he was about to hit the breaks when suddenly Damon's head snapped up and his reddened, dilated eyes regained their usual color and clarity.

"Elena," he whispered, eyes wide, blood dripping off his chin and onto their clothes when he ran his hands over her face in dismay.

Elena opened her eyes, but wasn't really able to keep them open for long, her head lulling to the side. She smiled faintly. "I'm fine."

Enzo exhaled loudly, shaking his head in relief mixed with anger. "That went smoothly," he muttered, glancing at them over his shoulder.

Damon gave him a dark, exhausted look before his eyes flickered back to Elena. He bit down into his wrist and slowly pressed it to her mouth, holding her limp form very carefully as she drank his blood, slowly regaining her strength, the gash in her neck healing.

"See? Everything is fine," she said, drawing back and brushing the remnants of blood off her face with the back of her hand.

Damon stared at her in disbelief. His fear of hurting her temporarily appeased, he immediately resumed his former astringent attitude.

"No, everything is not fine, Elena."

He wasn't going to risk her life like that again. But she held his gaze, determination so clear in her eyes that he knew this approach wouldn't work, that merely telling her that it was too dangerous for her wouldn't have any impact on her. His mind reeling, Damon mentally recoiled. Still overwhelmed and shaken by what had just happened he whispered on a breath almost too shallow to suffice for the entire short sentence:

"I killed Aaron Whitmore."


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: **Thank you SO MUCH for all the beautiful reviews! *hugs*

**Disclaimer:** _The Vampire Diaries_ belongs to L.J. Smith & CW.

**Chapter 3**

Elena looked at Damon, for a moment not even knowing what or whom he was talking about, her every thought revolving around their current predicament. But the dimmed light of his gaze soon enabled the words to register in her mind and realize what it was that he had just said. She frowned a little, caught off guard and confused.

"That was my idea," Enzo broke the silence that had fallen and added in a half-seriously apologetic voice when both Damon and Elena gave him a look as if they only now realized he was even in the car. "For the record."

Elena remembered some vague comments Stefan had made concerning Enzo's bad influence and she briefly wondered what was the actual extent of what she didn't know that had happened recently.

She looked back at Damon, her first impulse being to ask the most natural 'why?' and 'what happened?' questions, but somehow, in a way she couldn't quite explain, she thought she knew the answers to these questions as well as it was possible to know them. Because such answers would never be clear or sufficient, even if he could offer them to her. In a way, those questions had no answers and for a few moments Elena allowed herself to mourn yet another senseless tragedy in which everyone involved was a victim.

"So... do you now expect me to get out of our car and go back home?" Elena asked quietly and there was something about her choice of words that made Damon feel so warm inside - but he refused himself a privilege of reveling in the feeling. "Leave you, abandon you, because-"

"Because there was a bump in the road and I lashed out," Damon interrupted her in a toneless voice on the verge of breaking and Elena's mouth twitched at the quote. "Because you were right when you didn't want me. Because I'm a monster. Because I ruin people." Enzo glanced at them in the mirror. "Because-"

Slightly narrowing her eyes, Elena leaned forward and pressed a soft kiss to Damon's lips. He stared at her in silence when she drew back, her eyes so utterly sad the mere sight was breaking his heart.

But there was also a glimmer of determination in her gaze that was paradoxically even more painful to watch, because he felt he didn't deserve that look at all - the look that was telling him that she'd never give up on him. No one, except for her, had ever looked at him like that.

"Which part of '_I love you_' you don't understand?" Elena asked quietly, undeterred, holding Damon's gaze.

There was a glimpse of readiness, of unyielding desire in Damon's eyes to cling to her words, to wallow in their meaning. But he quickly blinked, regaining his composure and once again his eyes darkened with self-condemning sadness.

"I almost got Jeremy killed," he said under his breath with a bizarre hint of desperation in his tone, as if he was hoping to finally come up with something awful enough to be unforgivable. "And Bonnie-"

"That was my idea too," Enzo interrupted again, drumming his fingers on the steering wheel.

Damon shot him an irritated look. "Can you be quiet?"

Elena sighed. "He told me."

Damon's eyes darted back to her and he clenched his jaw, upset and so disappointed, so angry with himself for finding her attitude so utterly comforting that he was on the verge of dragging her with him into this dark abyss he had been falling into for as long as he remembered.

He blinked, trying to shake himself out of all of these miserable thoughts, of imagining asking her for forgiveness, of leaning in for a kiss.

With painful, enchanting, despicable certainty he knew she'd grant him whatever forgiveness he needed, would kiss every invisible scar like she had done so many times. But that was wrong. That was all wrong. That was so completely reprehensible to even be thinking of that, imaging it. Damon gritted his teeth, his hand curling up into fist to keep from reaching out to touch the hem of her dress with his fingertips.

"Jeremy told me what happened," Elena clarified in a low, steady voice, shooting Enzo a sideways glance. "He told me everything. He told me... Is there anything else you wanted to say?" She asked in a suddenly slightly different tone, giving Damon a questioning look.

Forehead creasing in thought, Damon tried to recall some other murky events of the last few weeks, but other than what he had already said, he couldn't remember anything more, at least not in relation to Jeremy or Bonnie. There was, however, that unfortunate new vampire Wes had left as a bait-

Damon's train of thought was interrupted by Elena's mirthless huff. "So you remember putting Jeremy in danger, but you don't remember saving his life when Katherine crashed his car? Or telling him to kill you when Kol compelled you to kill him?" She added under her breath before he had the time to react to her first question.

Damon blinked.

"Who is Kol?" Enzo asked but Damon and Elena ignored him.

"Did you go through his entire biography last night?" Damon asked with a hint of annoyance in his voice.

"Something like that," Elena retorted grumpily.

"I don't see how one makes up for the other," Damon said with a frown.

"I'm happy you see it doesn't," Elena said, squinting. "But I'm not happy that you never pay attention to what you do right, but always pay excessive attention to what you do wrong."

"Because it doesn't matter, Elena," Damon said impatiently.

Elena shook her head, perplexed. "Why it doesn't matter?"

"Because it doesn't."

"But why do you think that?"

"Because in the end people only remember what you did wrong anyway," Enzo said slowly in a low voice, as if he was just talking to himself.

"That's not true," Elena protested, wrinkling her forehead.

"Maybe in your alienated case, princess. We're running out of gas," Enzo added, pulling into a gas station.

xxxdelenaxxx

"What?!" Caroline exclaimed in a shrill voice, causing the windows to rattle in their frames.

Bonnie gave her a stern look. "Caroline, you _just_ promised not to freak out!"

"That was before you said that you let Elena go on a road trip with two psychopaths!" Caroline continued shouting looking to Stefan for support.

Stefan just looked at Bonnie in questioning resignation.

"Let her," Bonnie repeated with a mirthless snort. "Do you think she asked me for a permission? She just explained why she was going."

"You should've woken us up, Bonnie," Stefan said worriedly.

"And what would you do?" Bonnie asked, shifting her eyes to him. "Lock her up? Like she was locked up inside of her own body for the last few weeks?"

"This is not a fair argument, Bonnie," Caroline protested. "You can't compare what Katherine did, to us trying to keep Elena safe! That's ridiculous!"

Bonnie took a deep breath. "The situation is worse than we thought it was. We only have _hours_ to find the antidote or a spell and that's what we should be doing right now instead of wasting time on arguing."

"Well, _days_ ago Damon and his sociopathic friend threatened you, threatened to kill Jeremy just because of some idiotic revenge scheme and now you're willing to throw Elena in harm's way just to help him?" Caroline blurted out with a steely gaze.

Bonnie widened her eyes at her in indignation.

"He wasn't himself. He went off the rails because of what Katherine did," Jeremy observed in such a calm voice that Caroline's annoyance skyrocketed at an instant.

"You're kidding, right?" she exclaimed with a sarcastic laugh. "All she did, to him at least, was pretending to be Elena and break up with him!"

Jeremy grimaced in disbelief. "Are you defending her?"

Caroline gave him an incredulous look. "Of course I'm not defending her!" She scoffed, shaking from irritation. "But if it actually _was_ Elena and she _really_ broke up with him, would you also think it would've been completely OK for him to go on a killing spree just because of that? Is a break-up a good enough excuse in your opinion?"

To Caroline's utter frustration Jeremy replied in a tone as if he was explaining for a hundredth time something very simple:

"But it _wasn't_ Elena."

"Well, it's not an excuse," Stefan cut in, drawing Caroline's attention to him. "But in all fairness, had it been real, it would've been devastating for him and... he did think it was real, so..." Stefan added after a pause, holding Caroline's gaze for a second before she looked away with a stifled groan.

"Look, Caroline, it's not about Damon," Bonnie said and continued when Caroline's eyes flew back to her. "Not... only about Damon. Elena asked us for help. We owe that to her. We owe that to her to help her the way she wants us to help." Bonnie trailed off before drawing a breath and saying in a slightly trembling voice. "For weeks we didn't notice that she was gone. We didn't notice that she was gone because we were blinded by our vision of what's good for her," she said, her voice regaining its firmness as she glanced at everyone, Caroline, Stefan and Jeremy, all of them listening to her in gloomy silence. "If we weren't, we would've figured this out earlier," Bonnie said quietly, the pained look in Caroline's eyes mirroring her own. "Now it's not the time to be telling her what she should do. Now we should do what _she_ tells us is good for her."

The front door screeched and moments later Matt walked into the room. "Your mom found the address of that girl, Liv," he said, glancing at Caroline before giving the piece of paper to Bonnie.

"Great," Bonnie said, scanning the page.

"Wait, he knew before we knew?" Caroline asked in an irritated tone, her eyes darting between Matt and Bonnie.

Matt raised his eyebrows.

"Yes," Bonnie nodded impatiently. "Because he doesn't freak out when there's no time for it!"

Matt smiled in mock-pride and Caroline threw her hands in the air in exasperation.

xxxdelenaxxx

"Damon, look at me," Elena said when a minute after Enzo had left the car Damon was still looking straight ahead and not at her. "Are we back to you breaking up with me?" She asked with a frown. His mouth twitched and he blinked rapidly. "What about everything you said to me that night when-" Elena broke off in the middle of the sentence, the memory causing a twinge of fear pierce through her heart every time.

Damon's eyes darted to her in concern at the tone of her voice, at the raw vulnerability in it. He reached out and tugged Elena into his arms before all the admonishing voices in his head could stop him.

"That was before everything I did later," he said into her hair, stroking her back, subconsciously pulling her physically closer even as he was trying to push her away with his words. "It just proved that I was right the first time," he concluded hollowly.

Elena's head snapped upwards and she looked him straight in the eye. "Did it ever cross your mind that if we were together she wouldn't have been able to pull that off?" Elena asked, watching Damon's face fall, a flash of pain and guilt flickering in his eyes. "I'm not saying it's your fault," Elena amended quickly, unstrung how easily inclined he was to take any blame available. "But don't you see? Everything goes wrong when we're not together. Everything is always wrong when we're not together," she repeated quietly with a faint smile flitting across her face, her forehead falling against his.

Damon looked at her and all of a sudden he couldn't retrieve that inerrant train of thought that had led him to believe he should never kiss her again.

Smiling against his lips when he kissed her, Elena wrapped her arms around Damon's neck, snuggling into his embrace.

"Do you remember that rainstorm in July?" Damon asked in a hushed voice between the kisses. "When we were driving to-"

"Of course I remember," Elena whispered against his mouth, pressing small, teasing kisses along his lips, back and forth. "Do you think I could forget being trapped for seven hours in a car with you?"

They looked at each other smilingly for a few moments before Damon's smile turned sad and Elena grimaced, cupping his face in her hands.

"I'm sorry," he said, his eyes drowning in hers like hers were drowning in his. "I'm sorry for breaking up with you one day and begging you to come back the next. For not being the person you deserve regardless whether I'm doing something right or wrong. Somehow it's never quite right, no matter what I do," he said with a brief, bitter smile. "I'm sorry," he repeated earnestly, trying not to lean into her touch but then giving in and covering her hand with his, squeezing it hard. "I want the best for you and I'm far from the best," he whispered with a desolate grimace, "but... I don't want to live without you. I can't." He turned his head, kissed the inside of her hand. "I just want you to know," he continued after a pause, gathering her hands in his and clutching them tightly while his eyes remained focused on her face. "If I die tomorrow-"

"Damon-" Elena tried to interrupt him but he silenced her with a kiss.

"Elena," he said quietly but firmly with a smile that brought tears to her eyes, because of its strange serenity, a glimpse of a good-bye in it. "If I die tomorrow, I want you to know that you've made me more happy than I've ever been in my entire life, happier than anyone could ever be, happier that it's possible to be. That I would trade the world, life, all the stars and everything else that is out there for each and every moment that I spent with you." He ran his thumb across her lips and Elena grimaced and shuddered, tears rolling down her cheeks when she smiled feverishly and then couldn't stop herself from breaking into sobs at his words, at these ridiculously romantic phrases that were leaving her every nerve, every thought battered and bleeding, because she knew he meant what he was saying in the most veracious, most ridiculously literal way.

"I want you to be happy," Damon said in a low, determined voice, propping her chin with his hand and looking into her eyes with utmost intensity. Cradling her face, he brought it closer to his and kissed her. "Promise me you will be happy."

Elena flung his arms around his neck, his arms wrapping around her, holding her in a breathless embrace.

"I can't be happy without you," she whispered, pressing her face to his. "_You_ make me happy. I'm happy because of you."

They both shuddered when the car door was suddenly opened and Enzo jumped inside. "Hey, look what I've got. Skittles, Gummi Bears, Twix Miniatures, Sour Punch Straws, Peanut Butter Cups, Twizzlers and a Cotton Candy Tub," he announced, reading all the colorful etiquettes so carefully that it seemed to Elena like he was reading them for the first time... and then she realized that most likely he _was_ reading them for the first time. "They had all of these at the gas station," he added a little impressed, turning around and only then noticing their bereaved expressions and fresh traces of tears on Elena's face. He frowned. "And here I was thinking you'd spend this time that I was gone doing something fun like... auto sex or something."

Elena blinked, feeling as if a breeze rushed over them, carrying at least one layer of sadness away. And then another one when Damon echoed in a comically indifferent voice:

"Auto sex?"

Enzo's forehead wrinkled in thought. "Mobile sex?" He tried again, guessing that he must've gotten something wrong.

Elena laughed, burying her face in Damon's shoulder.

"Mobile sex," Damon repeated somehow managing to keep a straight face and Enzo narrowed his eyes at him.

"Automobile sex, motor sex, whatever. How do you call sex in a car?" Enzo asked with a feigned frown, hoping it wasn't showing how oddly happy he was that he managed to brighten the mood.

"Mobile sex is a good name," Elena said, reassuringly straightening up and brushing away the remnants of tears with the back of her hand.

"It's called car sex," Damon said, narrowing his eyes in a brief smile.

Enzo started the engine. "Car sex? Really? So if it's in a truck it's called truck sex?" He asked, handing the newest issue of _Vogue_ to Elena and _Men's Health_ to Damon.

Stifling a laugh at the expression on Damon's face, Elena took a bunch of scratch-off lottery tickets from Enzo, who, completely unfazed, just carried on with producing all kinds of things from a plastic bag.

"The man at the counter said we can win 5 million dollars," Enzo said in all seriousness and Elena bit her lip to keep from laughing again.

"Are you drunk?" Damon asked matter-of-factly, tilting his head to the side and giving Enzo a sincerely questioning look.

Snickering, Elena began looking through the magazine. "Can I have the Cotton Candy Tub?" She asked, her eyes laughing when Damon slowly turned his head to look at her.

"Sure," Enzo said, tossing the small container to Elena. "Oh, and these two are not working anymore," he added, handing Damon's credit cards to him. Damon frowned in mock confusion not remembering parting with any cards in the first place.

Unnoticeably, Elena quickly reached out for Damon's hand and slid her fingers in between his and for a few seconds they withdrew from the momentary charade of comfortingly lighthearted amusement and exchanged faint, warm smiles as if silently agreeing to hold on to hope - and survive.

xxxdelenaxxx

"It's my mother," Bonnie said just when Caroline parked the car in front of Liv's house. "I left her a message but..." Bonnie looked between her phone and Caroline, "I didn't think she'd actually call back."

"But she did! What are you waiting for?" Caroline waved her hands, motioning for Bonnie to pick up the phone. "One newbie witch and two ex-witches are better than one newbie witch and one ex-witch," she said with a shrug.

Bonnie gave her an unamused look before accepting the call and getting out of the car. Jeremy got out of the car after her.

Caroline watched them both through the windshield for a few moments before she turned in her seat and looked at Stefan who was sitting in the back, lost in thought.

"OK, so who are you worried about more?" Caroline asked with deliberate brusqueness smiling weakly in genuine concern when Stefan's eyes shifted to her and he snorted tiredly under his breath.

"Insightful," he said with a theatrically impressed nod.

Caroline pursed her lips in mock nonchalance. "Well, I _was_ considering majoring in psychology before my college of choice turned out to be a chamber of torture."

She waited for a smile to flicker across Stefan's face and then returned it. They were both silent for a while.

"Maybe _I_ should start studying psychology," Stefan finally said with a small sigh. "You have no idea how sorry I felt for her," he said with a mirthless grimace. "And all this time she was, like always, just plotting her own survival with the added bonus of wrecking our lives once again. Is there a cure for stupidity?"

Caroline reached out and squeezed Stefan's hand in a reassuring gesture. "That's not stupidity. That's..." she trailed off, pretending to struggle to find the right word and Stefan pretended to be giving her a sincerely expectant look.

After a moment Caroline straightened up and said grimly: "That was _totally_ stupid, yes," before giving Stefan a radiant smile and laughing briefly when his eyes seemed to light up a little because of her smile.

xxxdelenaxxx

"It's best if we split," Enzo said when they got out of the car after arriving at Whitmore.

Elena looked around with a pang of regret. A normal college experience. With a small, sad smile she briefly wondered how she could've ever been as naïve as to think that this would've worked out.

"We'll check the west side, you can check the east," Damon said, looking around with a frown before turning his eyes back to Elena. "Unless Elena reconsidered and decided to be kind enough to grant a dying man his last wish and stay in the car." He blinked and mock-smiled.

Elena narrowed her eyes at him. "Not a chance," she said, mirroring his expression. Damon rolled his eyes. "Plus, I think splitting would make more sense if each of us went into a different direction. It'd be quicker too."

"Ye... _no_." Damon shut the door of his camaro, grabbed Elena's hand and laced it through his arm. "Nice try, though," he said with a brief smile and Elena was about to retort when a phone rang and Damon reached into his pocket, sighing at the caller's ID that appeared on the screen.

"You can have my comic books collection, but the car goes to Elena. The rest I'm donating to a stray vampire shelter," he said into the phone, exchanging a nod with Enzo before Enzo went one way and Damon and Elena headed in the other.

"I'm happy to find you in a good mood," Stefan said on the other side of the line, resting his elbows on the roof of his car and looking at Caroline who was standing opposite from him, arms crossed over her chest. "You may be the only person I know that is in a good mood right now, so that's precious. Is Elena alive?"

"Do you think that was my idea?" Damon asked with a grimace.

"So you chose this particular situation to start letting Elena make her own decisions. How very thoughtful of you."

Elena snatched the phone out of Damon's hand. "Everything is fine, Stefan. We're handling the situation really well, so could you please tell Caroline to stop texting me? She's cluttering my phone."

"Judge me for being worried!" Caroline's agitated voice was heard in the background. "And could you please explain to me how exactly you're handling the situation?"

"I'll tell you when we'll meet."

Caroline snorted.

Damon took the phone back from Elena. "Don't want to be rude, but is there an actual reason why you're calling?"

"Bonnie's mom has a friend who is a witch and she agreed to help us," Stefan said, his tone turning matter-of-fact and serious. "They're working on a locator spell right now. We may be able to send you a map in a few minutes."

"That's great," Elena said with a surprised smile.

"Thank you," Damon said, his forehead creasing.

"Yeah, well, nothing to be thankful for just yet. But there is also something else. Bonnie's mom and her friend knew about the Augustine experiments. Nothing very specific or true for that matter, but... they knew this and that from Miranda Gilbert."

Elena's head snapped toward the phone at the mentioning of her adoptive mother's name.

"They said that at some point the experiments were generously supported by some influential people, which allowed them to... broaden their scope," Stefan said with a frown.

"What does that mean?" Elena asked, leaning toward the phone.

"It means that according to them, a couple of decades ago the Augustine society was conducting experiments on _dozens_ of vampires," Stefan said. Damon and Elena looked at each other. "Chances are most of them died," Stefan continued, "but there is no way to tell. Just warning you that you may run into a crowd of strangers with dubious intentions. OK. Sending you the map in a moment," Stefan said, straightening up and waving back to Bonnie who emerged from a house across the street signaling for Stefan and Caroline to come inside.

"How... where could they be keeping so many people?" Elena whispered, thinking out loud as she looked around the sunlit campus that was vibrating with joy and laughter so effectively concealing all the dark secrets buried beneath.

Damon opened his mouth to speak but then stopped in his tracks, lifting his hand to cover his eyes, the veins appearing again, the thirst for vampire blood striking again.

Elena's eyes darted to him and then she quickly scanned their surroundings looking for a good place to go. She noticed a back entrance into the building where she remembered the pool was. Grabbing Damon's hand, she pulled him toward the building with her.

Taking two steps at a time and zooming down the rest of the way once she was sure no one was around to see them, Elena led Damon into one of the dressing rooms located in the basement. She locked the door behind them and turned toward him.

"Elena-"

"Don't even try convincing me again that this is a bad idea," Elena said impatiently, covering his mouth with the palm of her hand and pressing a playful kiss to his nose.

Damon took her hand in his and kissed it, but then caught her off guard using the hold on his hand to spin her in his arms, her back colliding with his chest when he locked her in an embrace from behind. Keeping one hand wrapped around her waist, he bit into his other hand and brought it close to Elena's lips.

"You should drink from me at the same time. That way you'll keep your strength and you'll be able to push me away if I won't stop," he said with his lips hovering near her ear.

Drawing a shaky breath, Elena looked at him over her shoulder and smiled against his lips when he kissed her.

When they broke the kiss Elena gathered her hair to one side, baring her neck. She took Damon's hand in hers and sank her fangs into his palm, a little surprised by an almost violent pull to do just that, but with an inward smile she quickly filed it away as lust.

Damon traced a path from her ear, along the side of her face to her neck, dragging his lips across her skin. He nuzzled her neck for a few moments before giving in to the need that seemed to be boiling in his veins, burning him inside out.

He used the scraps of self-control to pierce through the skin of Elena's neck as gently as possible, doing his best to drink slowly, savoring the taste, trying to stay focused on it, hoping that focusing on the fact that it was Elena he was drinking from would help him stop after a while even without her telling him to.

His full attention on Elena, Damon didn't even feel the phone buzzing in his pocket.

An unanswered call was followed by two messages: one containing the map marking Dr. Maxfield's location and the other consisting of a short text from Stefan:

"_Heads-up: Bonnie's mom's friend said the serum infected your blood. Just like the serum your blood is lethal poison now."_


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: **Thank you so so so much for all the awesome reviews! :):):)

I was hoping to finish posting this story before the 27th, but it looks like there will be a slight delay. I'll probably post the final chapter on Sunday :)

**Disclaimer:** _The Vampire Diaries_ belongs to L.J. Smith & CW.

**Chapter 4**

"Is he on campus now?" Elena asked, tucking her hair behind her ears and peering at the map Bonnie had sent that Damon was viewing on his phone.

"Yes," Damon confirmed and Elena smiled faintly with relief that they at least were in the right place and didn't need to waste time driving somewhere else. She tugged on Damon's arm and pulled him toward the door. She unlocked it and glanced right and left to see if the hallway was empty.

Memorizing the location, Damon closed the map and flipped the other text message from Stefan open.

"If he won't tell us where the antidote is, maybe that friend of Bonnie's mom could find it in his laboratory?" Elena thought out loud as they walked down the corridor. "It must be somewhere in there... well, it can be somewhere else too, but either way, do you remember that trick Bonnie did with the book? What was it... The Call of the Wild?" Elena smiled faintly at the memory and turned around to look at Damon when he suddenly stopped dead in his tracks. "So maybe-" Elena trailed off and blinked in concern noticing the look of horror on Damon's face, his eyes glued to the screen of his phone. "Damon?"

Damon looked up at her and Elena felt cold shivers run up her spine at the look in his eyes.

"What is it?" She asked quietly, covering his hands with hers and glancing at the screen. She took the phone out of Damon's hands and read the message.

Damon scanned their surroundings with unseeing eyes. "I'm the worst thing that ever happened to you," he whispered through his teeth, appalled, his tone horrified and heavy with bitter disbelief.

Elena's eyes darted to him, her hands flying to his shoulders, clutching the fabric of his jacket and shaking him lightly.

"Damon. If it wasn't for you I wouldn't even be here right now," she said, finding strange kind of joy in the fact that the words she had just read didn't affect her at all, that nothing changed. In some odd, abstract way she felt that she needed that confirmation, she needed to be reminded of that core difference between her and Katherine - something Katherine would never understand. And Elena couldn't help feeling even a little sorry for her, like she would feel sorry for anyone who would never know that warm, liberating, beautiful, simultaneously fluttering and so heavy it seemed to soak through every piece of her, all the way to her bones, feeling of worrying about others and not about yourself.

"You saved me more times than I can count," Elena continued with a faint, earnest smile, cradling Damon's face in her hands and forcing him to look at her. "You made me believe in myself, stand up for myself. You taught me not to ever give up. And be strong."

"Elena, _stop_," Damon covered Elena's hands with his and slid them off his face. "This is my fault. Don't tell me that it isn't, because it is. Don't tell me that it's OK, because it's not. I _ruined_ your life," he said in a hollow voice, but instead of letting go of her hands like he had intended to, he held them in his, squeezing even tighter.

"Damon, this is not true," Elena said almost angrily, abruptly lifting his hands and placing them on either side of her face, covering them with hers. "Listen to me. I love you, so if there is anyone you should listen to, it's me. And I'm telling you that you made me feel alive. You made me _want_ to feel alive. When I wanted you to take the cure with me, it meant that we would die one day and maybe that's the way it's supposed to be. Maybe we're going to die and... and I'm OK with that. I don't regret anything. I'd rather die tomorrow with you than live for a thousand years without knowing you." She smiled through the tears that welled up in her eyes when she saw in Damon's eyes that some invisible layer was breaking, that he was letting her words in.

"But maybe we won't die," she continued ardently. "There is still hope. We just have to find the antidote. The plan is still the same. Now it's just both of us that will have to take it." She shrugged with as much nonchalance as she could muster. "We always survive." She smiled when Damon nodded slowly, his face still contorted in a grimace of pain, but she could now see the light in his eyes again. "Kiss me," Elena whispered against his lips.

"That was most entertaining."

Damon and Elena looked to the side, caught off guard by the interruption.

Dr. Maxfield slowly clapped his hands and then snorted under his breath. "I have to say I didn't expect such a prompt revisit. How is the new diet working out for you, Damon?" He smiled. "You really have no appreciation for science whatsoever, do you?" He asked, looking between Damon and Elena. "Not even in the simple form of phone tracking. Well, either way thank you for coming. You saved us the trouble of bringing you back here by ourselves," he said, and then the lights in the entire hallway went off.

xxxdelenaxxx

"We don't have an actual plan, do we?" Caroline asked with a sigh, glancing at Stefan who was absently tapping an abstract rhythm on the steering wheel while taking a turn to the left.

"No, we don't," Stefan admitted in a low voice.

Bonnie leaned over from the backseat, looking between Stefan, Caroline and the road. "Katherine's blood became the cure. If her body didn't go up in flames, we could've used her blood to make Damon human and then... maybe... he wouldn't die."

Caroline snorted mirthlessly. "Yeah, he'd be most happy about that."

"It's a lost option anyway, so," Bonnie said with a sigh.

"If it was only about becoming a vampire ripper or whatever, maybe we could do what Shane was teaching me to do when I wanted to kill all vampires including my own sister," Jeremy observed in a low voice, glancing out of the window.

"Yeah, well, that's not an option now either," Bonnie said, seating back and lacing her hand through Jeremy's arm. He squeezed her hand and gave her a faint smile that she returned before looking away.

"But what if the evil Dr. Wes is lying?" Caroline asked after a moment of silence that fell in the car. "What if he just made that 72 hours thing up out of spite or something?"

"We won't know until the time's up," Bonnie said dryly. "So it really doesn't change our current situation one bit."

Jeremy shook his head. "This whole thing is so messed up. They were helping people by torturing other people? How does that even make sense?"

"The way they looked at it was that they were helping nice humans by causing a little discomfort to ugly monsters," Caroline said in a mockingly reasonable tone.

"The way they look at it," Stefan corrected. "They're still doing it, it seems."

"I can't believe my dad was involved in this," Jeremy said barely above a whisper.

Bonnie looked at him in concern. "Jeremy..."

Jeremy shifted his eyes to Bonnie, his expression grim. "It's not that I... hate him right now or... condemn him... I mean... I do... maybe I do, I don't know,"Jeremy squeezed his eyes shut for a second. "It's just that... I just... I just thought he was a different person, you know?" he said with a grimace and Bonnie nodded slowly. "And now I feel like I never knew him. Did I know him, Bonnie?" He asked in a hollow, pained voice. "How do you laugh tossing your kid in the air one moment and go and ram a knife into someone's eye the next?"

"Sometimes-" Stefan started in a dark, gloomy voice but Jeremy cut him off.

"My father was human." Jeremy grimaced derisively. "He didn't have murderous supernatural instincts to fight against. He couldn't turn off his emotions. He wasn't unhappy. But even all of that aside, regardless whether he was human or a vampire..." Jeremy squeezed his eyes shut for a second. He drew a breath and continued. "I know you did horrible things, but did you ever think it was OK for you to be doing them? Did you ever think that you had a _right_ to inflict pain, to hurt people? That's what I'm talking about."

"Here we are," Caroline muttered, glancing around when Stefan pulled into one of Whitmore's parking lots and stopped the car. "Hopefully a successful rescue mission will cheer everyone up," she added and looked at Stefan who returned her faint smile.

xxxdelenaxxx

Elena's eyes snapped open, her latest memories rushing back to her as soon as she could take a look around and saw that she was confined to a chair in a pristinely looking windowless laboratory with white cabinets and the floor made out of glass tiles.

She glanced at her hands that were tied to the arms of the chair with some strange wires that were strong enough to hold her hands in place even when she tried to put all of her vampire strength into freeing them.

Her feet were also tied or rather chained to the floor and she frowned at the elaborate way in which the chains seemed to seamlessly emerge from below the glass tiles, several rings that looked like they were made out of steel piling up from around her ankles and all the way up over her shins.

A little surprised bur glad for feeling angry and annoyed rather than helpless, Elena closed her eyes and tugged on the chains – and stifled a cry when the steel rings plunged into her skin with metal thorns she hadn't seen on them before.

Elena grimaced and gasped, but then her attention was drawn to a quiet sound her vampire ears picked up and she looked around the room with an ill-boding feeling, her breath catching in her throat at the sight of a person lying on one of the long tables that she must've failed to notice at first due to the white sheet that was covering the body up to the top of his head, leaving a few strands of black hair as the only visible detail.

"Damon?" Elena breathed out and didn't move for a few seconds waiting for a response, but apart from quiet, shallow breathing she couldn't hear anything at all. But when she opened her mouth to say his name again, the door opened and Dr. Maxfield walked inside.

"I thought you might be awake," he said, glancing at Elena with a thin smile.

"What do you want from us?" Elena asked through her teeth, glaring at him.

"I'm just continuing my research," Wes said in a blank voice, pulling the white sheet off the body on the table and Elena's eyes widened at the sight.

"What did you do?" She whispered, aghast.

Damon's body looked like one bloody gash, torn pieces of skin hanging around countless open wounds, deep punctures, avulsions... The conversations with her father flashed through Elena's mind, the words that sounded so mysterious and fascinating when she was a child now becoming sinister emblems of suffering she was witnessing. The sizzling sound made by a burning rod that Wes dragged along Damon's forehead blending in her ears with the memory of her father's medical diaries burning in the fireplace.

"Stop!" Elena screamed, the chains and metal wires rattling as she tried to snatch herself free but to no avail.

"Be patient. You're next," Wes replied calmly.

Elena glared at him, tears gathering in her eyes and rolling down her cheeks. "Why are you doing this?"

"The tone of your voice suggests you don't believe in my good intentions," Wes said, not looking at her.

"Good intentions?" Elena sneered bitterly.

"Yes. Don't you think that slight... discomfort of one monster," he said, pointing to Damon in a careless gesture, "is worth saving several human lives?"

"He's not a monster," she whispered. "You are."

An amused, disdainful smile flitted across Wes' face. "I'm very sorry you've become... this. Your father, both of your parents, would've been devastated."

"My parents," Elena repeated the words automatically and froze, overwhelmed by a sense of sadness and guilt at the realization that suddenly hit her, bringing tears to her eyes, cold drops rolling down her cheeks.

Regardless of what her parents might have done wrong themselves... Elena grimaced at all the happy memories running through her head and for a moment she wondered what they would say indeed. She quickly dismissed the hallucinatory words she had heard her mother say on the Wickery Bridge. They were not real.

But at the same time Elena couldn't help thinking that, to some extent, it could've been what her mother would've really said. Or at least it was what she had really been thinking at the time, that she had disappointed her parents. And although she didn't feel guilty about who she was anymore, she thought that maybe she should guilty for failing them-

"_I failed in that task."_

Elena's eyes widened a little, another memory striking through her mind with surprising brightness and a strange veil of hopelessness and weakness that had overcome her along with feeling guilty was suddenly, almost magically lifted.

Elena drew a sharp intake of breath.

"_It's no easy task being an ordinary parent to an extraordinary child. I failed in that task."_

Elena clenched her jaw, the tears drying in her eyes. All her regrets were suddenly fused into one.

She looked at her confined hands and feet and then at Damon's mutilated body on the table a few feet away.

She regretted having just wasted a few minutes of trying to fight.

"_I am haunted by how things might have turned out differently if I had been more willing to hear your side of things."_

Surreptitiously, Elena straightened up and curling her hands up into fists began trying to slide them through the cuffs, the metal thorns tearing through her flesh, but she held her breath determined not to make a sound, trying to drag her mind away from the pain and focus on the letter she didn't even know she had memorized.

"_I don't ask for your forgiveness or for you to forget."_

It was a strange, astonishing feeling. It was as if something broke inside her, something hidden and fragile, something she feared to acknowledge, something she thought she didn't need, something she felt she shouldn't need because it seemed like a betrayal of the people who had raised her.

But all of a sudden it didn't feel like that anymore. That strange glass globe of feelings she was ignoring for so long shattered into pieces but instead of a bitter, hurtful disaster of grudges and regrets it rushed through her like a cleansing fever. And she made no effort to stop it. She was ready to accept that sense of connection she felt, _wanted_ to feel, with those people she hardly ever knew and yet now she felt as if she knew them better than she knew anyone else. She could suddenly understand all of their reckless, fearful, fearless, passionate, right and wrong choices.

"_I ask only that you believe this:"_

"My parents," Elena repeated in a louder voice, different tears gathering in her eyes, "wouldn't have been devastated."

Wes stilled his movements for a second, sensing a change in her voice. He looked up.

"My mother was a vampire, because she wanted to," Elena said defiantly, "and my father..." Elena's breath caught in her throat and she stifled a sob at the sudden realization that although she had grieved them, it was only now that she was allowing herself to grieve over them - as her parents.

"_Whether you are now reading this as a human or as a vampire, I love you all the same."_

"My father has always loved me. And always will," Elena added in a whisper and smiled brokenly through her tears.

Wes narrowed his eyes at her with a mildly confused look on his face-

Elena gasped as Wes was all of a sudden knocked over, thrown against the wall and rendered unconscious with a sideways punch by Damon who had sprung up from the table.

"Damon!" Elena's expression brightened in relief, but her smile faltered when Damon slid to the floor with a stifled groan, wincing.

"Damon!"

"I'm fine," he coughed. "Everything is fine, Elena," he said and only when he pulled himself upwards and stumbled toward her with a small smirk on his marred, sweaty face she realized that he was mocking her.

She almost smiled, but the sight of him brushing the blood oozing from his forehead off his eyes turned her smile into a pained grimace.

"Damon-"

"Are you OK?" Damon cut her off, glancing up at her with a worried frown, kneeling beside her and tearing away sharp wires and thorned chains with his hands, his palms soon bleeding from the task.

"Yes," Elena nodded quickly, biting her lip and grimacing at all of his injuries that weren't healing and she wondered if her blood would be enough to help or whether some other poisonous injections would stand in the way.

Once her hands and legs were free, she fell to her knees next to Damon, bit into her palm and quickly offered it to him.

"Elena, we have to go. There are others in adjacent rooms," Damon said urgently.

"You can barely walk," Elena protested, pressing her hand against his mouth. She shivered when he grasped her hand and holding her gaze drank in slow gulps.

"You know, I really did mean that about the rules for when boyfriends come to visit."

Elena and Damon's eyes snapped toward the door. Caroline was standing in the doorway, her eyes bright, a feigned stern expression turning into a grin at the overjoyed expression that appeared on Elena's face.

xxxdelenaxxx

When Wes' eyes drifted open, his gaze started wandering aimlessly all around the room that seemed infinitely blurry before his vision slowly regained its sharpness and he could focus his attention on the person straddling a chair right in front of him.

He blinked and grimaced and tried to move, but found that he couldn't. Briefly looking himself over he noticed all the chains and snarled weakly.

"I'm not telling... or giving you... anything," he stammered breathlessly, tilting his head backwards to relieve the pain pulsating in his brows.

"Oh," Caroline, who was straddling a chair opposite his, said and glanced over her shoulder at Stefan. "He isn't telling or giving us anything," she said in mock concern.

Wes craned his neck and slowly shifted his eyes between them. "Do you think I'm afraid of you?"

"Do we think he's afraid of us?" Caroline asked, glancing at Stefan.

"We don't think you're afraid of us," Stefan said calmly, lifting his hand that was up till then hidden behind Caroline's back.

Wes narrowed his eyes at the stake that Stefan rolled a few times in his hand before offering it to him.

"But maybe you should be afraid of yourself," Stefan said with a tight smile.

Wes' eyes drifted to Caroline's hands when she freed one of his.

"Take it," Stefan ordered with another quirky smile, bringing the stake close to Wes' face. Wes gave him a condescending look but before he strengthened the look with any words Stefan repeated, looking him straight in the eye. "_Take it._"

The expression on his face full of disgust and anger, Wes nonetheless reached out for the stake - as compelled - and took it out of Stefan's hand. Caroline tilted her head to the side giving Wes a humorlessly sarcastic smile.

"Now," Stefan cleared his throat, propping one hand on the back of Caroline's chair. "Drive it into your leg. Fifty times."

The cynical expression on Wes' face slightly faltered.

"You can choose a leg," Stefan offered in a mockingly charitable tone and exchanged a peaceful smile with Caroline.

"You're mad," Wes hissed.

Caroline snorted. "Like you're the one to talk."

There was a glint of panic in Wes' eyes, but before he could do anything about it, Stefan compelled him to do what he had just been told to do.

Caroline shuddered exaggeratedly and wrinkled her nose in pretended annoyance when Wes brought the stake down in a rather abrupt manner and buried it deeply into his thigh, crying his lungs out as he did so.

"Now," Caroline said, leaning over the back of the chair she was straddling and waiting for Wes' eyes to shift to hers, drops of sweat gathering all over his face, his legs shaking, his hand still clutching the stake stuck in his leg. "You're kindly going to tell us where the antidote and all other vampires you keep here are or," Caroline squinted and lowered her voice to a menacing whisper, "we're going to kill you and everyone you've ever met."

xxxdelenaxxx

"What are they going to do, exactly?" Elena asked, giving Bonnie a questioning look, certain that she had gotten something wrong.

"They're going to torture the answers out of Dr. Maxfield, Klaus-style," Bonnie repeated patiently and then sighed loudly.

Jeremy stifled a laugh.

"Am I missing something here?" Elena asked with a small frown of confusion, looking between Bonnie and Jeremy.

"Well, technically she did tell you about this herself already, so," Bonnie said and then looked at Elena with a mixture of worry, irritation and amusement. "A few weeks ago Caroline spent some... intensely romantic moments with Klaus. In other news, Katherine made sure Tyler heard all about that."

Elena stopped in her tracks and just stared at Bonnie who laughed at the expression on her face. "We can go on a girls-only road trip next weekend and spend two days _grilling_ her," Bonnie said with a wink. "How does that sound?"

Elena chuckled, but then nodded and said in all seriousness. "Sounds _great_."

They both laughed and Jeremy shook his head with an amused smile.

But then all of them came to a halt.

"Did you hear that?" Elena asked, looking around.

"Yes," Bonnie and Jeremy confirmed.

"It sounded like-"

Before Elena managed to finish her sentence, Jeremy pushed her and Bonnie aside, a burning part of the ceiling falling to the ground with a sizzling noise and when they looked up they saw orange flames roar above them.

"Wes wasn't working alone. Some other people must've been here too. They must've set the fire and escape," Bonnie said.

Jeremy frowned. "Let's go back for Caroline and Stefan."

"Damon went to check the basement. I'll go find him. We'll meet you outside," Elena said hurriedly and zoomed away from them before they managed to stop her.

Bonnie and Jeremy looked around at the walls that began to burn, peel off piece by piece and melt as if they were made out of paper.

Jeremy's eyes darted to Bonnie. "What about the antidote?" He asked in a low voice.

Bonnie looked at him, her grim expression matching his.

xxxdelenaxxx

"A dark dungeon again? Got to find yourself better places to hang out," Damon said, looking the bars of the cell up and down.

Enzo opened his eyes and squinted through the dimly lit space and then slowly pushed himself from the ground to his feet and approached the locked door of the cell, his steps leaving bloody stains on the ground and it looked like he could walk only with the greatest effort, dragging his feet across the floor. The sleeves of his shirt were torn, thin, deep incisions marking the entire lengths of his arms.

"You look... not quite dead," Enzo said with a half-smile, eying Damon's completely blood-soaked clothes.

"Hope you don't mind," Damon replied with a glimpse of a smile in his eyes as he grabbed the bars and then hissed a little when they turned out to be soaked in vervain.

"Like good, old times, eh?" Enzo commented, his eyes trying to convey the avidity his voice lacked. He covered his mouth with his hand and coughed, splattering blood all over his palm.

Blood burning, skin melting to the bone, Damon kept his grip on the bars upon the second try and fractured one of the bars, tossing the part that broke off aside.

"Can't say they made much of a technological progress," Damon said through his teeth and Enzo tried to smile but instead stumbled a little, the feeling of dizziness that had settled in after some injections Wes had conducted earlier becoming more and more difficult to fight.

"Unlike-" Enzo started in a raspy voice, coughing out more blood and assuming that the noise that started ringing in his ears was because of that. But when he stopped coughing the noise was still there.

Enzo looked up at the same moment when Damon did and they both watched the ceiling above them beginning to crumble with hissing, cracking sounds of combustible materials burning.

"They built the place out of only flammable materials, so they could easily burn it down the moment they needed a clean slate," Enzo muttered with a wry smile, struggling to keep his eyes open.

Damon's eyes darted back to the cell and he pulled another vervain-soaked bar out.

"I have a flaw," Enzo spoke after a pause, his tone strangely solemn, his voice beginning to drown in the deafening noise of the fire that was breaking into the dungeon through the ceiling and through the walls that began crumbling in charred chunks around them. "I say mean things when I'm angry."

Not really listening to what he was saying, Damon grasped another bar, but then Enzo grabbed his hand and with all the remaining strength murmured through his teeth as clearly as he could, the throbbing pain in his head making it feel as if the flames were already creeping over his skin.

"I didn't mean what I said. You're not a monster. You didn't ruin me. Well, you kind of did, but..." Enzo shook his head with an impatient grimace. "That's the whole point," he continued, his voice hurried and hoarse, feverish. "That's not who you are. You ruined me, because that's _not_ who you are. Do you understand? Do you understand what I'm saying?"

"Can we have a heart-to-heart in less incendiary circumstances?" Damon asked, Enzo's words echoing in his head even as he tried not to listen.

Snatching his hand free, Damon grabbed another vervain-soaked bar while stepping in between the rising flames, trying to douse some of them with his shoes, the floor beginning to disappear under the fast-spreading conflagration.

But Enzo gritted his teeth, torn Damon's hands from the bars and whispered vehemently. "You made me believe I could get out of there. Something that deep inside I'd stopped believing years afore. You made me _want_ to get out of there. And I was angry. I thought you walked away because you didn't care. But you walked away because you didn't want to care. You walked away into _not caring_ and... I get that," he said, coughing up more blood, his feverish gaze drifting away, suddenly lost in some distant recollections that were becoming less blurry the more blurry his actual surroundings were becoming to him.

There was a cracking noise and the entire ceiling seemed to collapse, the burning pieces of debris showering down, scattering all over. Damon freed his hand almost pushing Enzo to the floor in the process and brushing off the flames that began catching on his clothes, he pulled out yet another bar making the space almost big enough for Enzo to walk through.

Throwing himself toward the bars with all the strength he could muster, Enzo punched Damon away from the cell.

"Go!" His voice was an angry, cracking scream as his eyes met Damon's gaze. "Maybe it was always meant to be like that with me," Enzo whispered with an exhausted, crooked smile, glancing around the fire that was raging around "You've got someone to live for. _Go_."

With a stifled groan, Damon zoomed back to his feet and toward the cell.

"I've never wanted to have to live up to anyone's expectations," he said snapping another bar out of the frame with his vervain-seared hands, melted flesh dripping into the fire surrounding them. "But you know what?" Damon tossed the bar to the side, rowdy flames rushing across the dungeon high above the floor, smoke obscuring his vision. "I don't want to have to live down to them anymore either."

Grabbing Enzo by the shoulders, Damon dragged him through the empty space between the bars and out of the cell a moment before the screeching noise tore the air and the rest of the burning, blistering ceiling collapsed over them.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N:** IS IT THURSDAY YET?! A beautiful, hour-long DE reunion scene is all I'm asking for. That's not much, is it? ;D

As for this fic, this is the last chapter and I'm sorry for posting it a few days later than I said I would, but it just kept getting longer and longer until it became the longest chapter I've ever written lol

There will be a couple of diary entries here, so I just wanted to include a little disclaimer, that I have no clue what the correct dates should be and I don't think it's something that could be researched and confirmed with complete certainty anyway, so I just conveniently relied on my memory/intuition only ;)

**THANK YOU SO MUCH** for all of your amazing reviews for this story! I had the most wonderful time reading them :]

**Disclaimer:**_The Vampire Diaries_ belongs to L.J. Smith & CW.

**Chapter 5**

"Damon..."

When Damon opened his eyes he didn't have to look around to know he was surrounded by nothing but fire. Everything was crumbling around him, pieces of charred debris plummeting down from above, the smell of burning flesh infiltrating the smoke-heavy air.

Noticing Enzo lying next to him, seemingly unconscious, Damon pushed a large piece of wood off Enzo's legs and only then realized that he himself couldn't move without an effort due to some metal bolts in his shins and arms that must have crashed over him along with the remnants of the ceiling.

With a grimace, Damon staggered to his feet, picked Enzo up from the floor and headed toward where he hoped the door had been and the hallway hopefully still was. Navigating his way through the flames bursting higher and higher, he could hardly see anything and it was also becoming increasingly difficult to breathe.

"Damon?"

Damon shuddered, the previous time he had heard his name he was convinced it was only in his imagination, but this time her voice sounded terrifyingly close.

"Elena?" He called in a husky voice between the coughs, squinting, hoping she wouldn't answer more than hoping that she would.

"Damon!"

His eyes widened at the note of happiest relief in what was undeniably Elena's voice. In the next moment the wall of fire in front of him was for a few moments doused with an extinguisher and having cleared her path a little, Elena jumped over the clattered part of the floor and landed near enough to grasp Damon's arm.

He bit back a humorous comment and despite almost choking from joy, he shouted angrily as much as it was possible with his throat completely dry from smoke. "What are you doing here?!"

Elena shot him an incredulous look that immediately turned into an exasperated one. "Looking for a pen I left here on the orientation day," she said, squeezing the lever and spraying the parts of Damon's body that were already catching fire. She briefly considered spraying his face for good measure, but there was no time for that.

Swatting on the flames wavering dangerously close to Elena, Damon followed her until they were out of what was left of the door. Then he grabbed her arm, pulled her against his chest and whispered into her hair:

"Hold on."

Hooking his free arm around her waist, he zoomed the three of them across the fiery hallways, avoiding falling debris, charred objects blocking their way and swirling flames devouring the building inch by inch.

When they got outside, they were greeted by torrents of water being poured over the building from all sides.

They landed on the ground amidst the deafening noise of the collapsing building, people running around, shouting and screaming, emergency lights crisscrossing the dark, starless sky.

Without letting go of Elena, Damon dropped Enzo to the ground – and slowly exhaled and closed his eyes when Enzo coughed and rolled onto his side. Elena pressed her lips to Damon's cheek and smiled.

xxxdelenaxxx

It was a beautiful, starry evening and Matt couldn't help laughing at himself a little for feeling so ridiculously happy just because he could breathe freely.

Although of course breathing freely was a heavily conditioned privilege, so it wasn't exactly 'just because'. The actual reason was that all of his friends – and almost friends - were alright and maybe all of them would now finally have a chance to live fairly normal, human lives... figuratively speaking.

"So... all of them are vampires?" Tyler asked under his breath, leaning toward Matt who was looking at the football field through narrowed eyes, keeping the ball in both hands in front of him.

Matt nodded slowly, eyes shifting between a dozen of men gathered in the field, all of them wearing football clothing borrowed from their former high school team.

"Most of them haven't seen daylight in decades," Matt said. "Some of them were tortured so badly they can't remember their own names. And we mostly have no idea what they were injected with over the years, so anything can happen," He added with a sympathetic smile.

"That's pretty horrible," Tyler said thoughtfully and then sighed. "So... that's Caroline's idea?" He asked in a slightly strained voice, looking straight ahead.

Matt shot him a sideways glance. "Yeah," he confirmed with a ghost of a smile flickering across his face. "We found twelve guys and three girls in that dungeon and Caroline's first thought was cheerleading-"

Tyler rolled his eyes. "Can you not be giving me that look?" He asked irately.

"What look?" Matt asked, wrinkling his forehead in slight confusion.

"The 'oh, so you're mentioning Caroline' look." Tyler said grimly.

Matt snickered. "I was thinking more along the lines of 'oh, so you stopped thinking you're going to die if you say her name out loud' look.

Tyler shot Matt an unamused look. "Not funny," he said solemnly.

Matt shrugged. "You can't stay angry with her forever," he said matter-of-factly.

Tyler widened his eyes at him. "She slept with the guy who murdered my mother. What do you mean I can't stay angry with her forever?" He asked incredulously.

"Fine," Matt raised his hands in apologetic defeat. "Forget I said anything." He cleared his throat and stepped forward. "Hello everyone," he shouted. "Having put aside his... numerous duties, Coach Lockwood has joined us today for our first practice."

Tyler took a deep breath and tried to smile politely to keep himself from laughing at the introduction.

Matt clapped his hands and everyone else joined the welcoming cheer.

"Well, thank you... Coach Donovan," Tyler said, finding it difficult to keep a straight face, but doing his best to sound confident, "for inviting me to... join you," he said with a smile, stifling an urge to roll his eyes.

"Alright," Matt shouted, motioning for everyone to move. "Let's start with three loops around the field."

The former Augustine society prisoners began to walk and then run, some of them faster, some slower, some still looking very much confused. One person didn't even seem to notice everyone else moving and remained motionless, just standing in the middle of the field, staring upwards, apparently mesmerized by the sight of the sky above.

"How high are the chances they will freak out for no reason, gang up on us and kill us?" Tyler asked in a low, completely reasonable tone of voice, glancing at Matt.

Matt smiled. "That's one of the points of this entire football thing. Keeping them occupied, keeping an eye on them for some time to see how they behave, what they're capable of, so we know if they're dangerous or not and if they'll need some serious help other than getting them daylight rings. Until then the practices will have to be held in the evenings."

"I'm available on all evenings," Tyler said somberly.

"Well, you can spend at least one coming up with some good stories, because I told them you're the best coach in North America. Caroline said we need to intimidate them with how awesome we are to make sure they don't turn against us," Matt added in a conspiratorial voice, laughing under his breath.

"Do you have to keep mentioning her?" Tyler snapped, shooting Matt an annoyed look before running down to stand in the middle of the field and shout orders from there.

Matt shook his head with a weak snort and sighed.

xxxdelenaxxx

"Is it certain this will work?" Jeremy asked with a frown, watching Caroline happily fill up the cups.

"I told you a million times he said it would!" Caroline huffed in annoyance. "We tortured this out of him, we confirmed it by compelling it out of him. How much proof is proof enough, Mr. Holmes?"

"He's just worried. We all are," Bonnie said, giving Caroline a humorous, narrow-eyed look.

"The antidote is your own blood before it was infected. How neat is that," Caroline said, sliding small cups filled with blood toward Damon and Elena. "Luckily for you, Dr. Wes had samples of blood of everyone he's ever tortured stored in one of his creepy freezers. And since we still have him locked up downstairs, if it turns out that he lied, this won't end prettily for him at all. That's why we waited until tonight," Caroline added, glancing at the clock on the wall. "If Damon doesn't die in three hours from now, we'll know for sure," she said, flashing Damon an artificial grin.

Stefan stifled a smile, looking away.

"That's a brilliant plan," Damon said, squinting. Elena patted his hand.

Caroline tilted her head to the side and smiled. "If you want to talk, why don't you tell us how is Elena even infected?"

"Caroline!" Elena's smiled turned into a frown and she sat up a little straighter, crossing her arms over her chest.

Caroline rolled her eyes.

Elena took her cup in her hands, Damon grabbed his and she clinked her cup against his. They drank the blood and put the cups away.

"Great." Caroline clapped her hands, grabbed the cups and handed them to Stefan. "And now if you excuse us, we have a brand-new cheerleading squad to train. Come on," she said, jumping to her feet and giving Elena and Bonnie hurrying looks.

Elena blinked and then winced, propping her elbows on the table and hiding her face in her hands. Caroline narrowed her eyes at her and then turned her head to look at Bonnie who in an overtly clumsy manner tried to hide behind Jeremy.

"Seriously?!" Caroline threw her hands in the air looking between Bonnie and Elena. "You're just going to dump this whole thing on me?!"

"You're an expert," Elena said with a quick, encouraging smile, looking up at her.

"Plus you have no life right now, so you have more time," Bonnie said flatly and Elena stifled a laugh.

Caroline widened her eyes at Bonnie. "Bonnie Bennett, that was the most chauvinistic comment I've ever heard you make."

"Maybe Stefan could help you," Jeremy proposed when Stefan came back into the living room from the kitchen.

"I'm afraid I don't know much about cheerleading," Stefan said slowly with a cautious smile.

Caroline quickly looked him up and down and squinted. "You could help with choreography," she said matter-of-factly.

Stefan blinked and grimaced a little. "I really don't think-"

"OK, but if it doesn't work, I'll demand help," Caroline cut him off in mid-sentence, putting her hands on her hips and giving both Elena and Bonnie pointed looks.

Elena quickly jumped to her feet and pushed her pom poms into Stefan's hands. Bonnie promptly followed the suit. Then they waved quick good-byes, Elena grabbed Damon's hand, Bonnie grabbed Jeremy's and they all disappeared out of the room within seconds.

Stefan looked at the pom poms and then at Caroline who looked at him seriously for a few seconds and then laughed.

xxxdelenaxxx

"And the topic of today's meeting is..." Enzo narrowed his eyes in an expectant expression, watching Damon slump down on one of the stone steps next to him.

"Why it's better to compel Dr. Wes Maxfield away rather than rip his heart out... and frame it," Damon said wryly.

"I appreciate Elena's concern for my soul, but my latest online research has shown that vampires don't have souls," Enzo observed with a brief smile that Damon returned.

"Don't believe in everything you read on the internet."

They were sitting in silence for a longer while, looking at the clearing near the boarding house. The evening wind was rustling the leaves of the trees, the air heavy with the scent of the nearby forest.

"It worked out," Enzo broke the silence, squinting into the distance. "The plan," he clarified, glancing at Damon who was still staring ahead, a deep frown on his forehead. "Our escape plan. Like I always thought."

Damon snorted weakly under his breath. "The execution was kind of messy and slow," he said gloomily.

Enzo shrugged. "Some things in life take a long time to happen, but what takes even more time is coming to the realization that nothing ever happens too early or too late. You can tell Elena," he continued before Damon had a chance to respond, "that I'm OK with compelling him away, but it has to be somewhere fun. Sahara with no water, Arctic with no shoes. You get the idea."

Damon gave him a faint smile and then pulled a set of keys out of his pocket and handed it to Enzo who gave him a questioning look.

"Keys to a friend's loft. Jeremy talked to him and he said it's OK," Damon said with a glimpse of a sad smile flickering across his face. He cleared his throat. "You can move in there if you want."

Enzo looked at the keys, memories of home of any kind so distant he had to strain his memory to remember the place where he had grown up, to recall the exact color of the bricks, the scent of bread on Saturday mornings, the sound of snow under his new and only pair of winter boots.

"Little tip. The owner is a ghost and will haunt you if you don't water the plants," Damon said, glancing around at the darkening shadows of the trees. "Or if you kill anyone," he added with a half-smile.

"In there or at all?" Enzo asked, closing the keys in his hand but then opening it, his smile turning into a thoughtful frown. "I was actually thinking about going to Europe. To see what's left of... home," he pronounced the word as if it was simultaneously very sweet and very bitter.

"You can do that and then come back here," Damon said and then suddenly added in a different, quieter tone. "Thank you."

Enzo raised his eyebrows. "For what? You saved me."

"You saved me first."

"Ah, then we're square," Enzo said with a humorously exaggerated surprise.

Damon smiled briefly, looking away.

Enzo gave the keys back to Damon and rose to his feet. "I'm sorry, but I have to go pick up something before I leave. I got you a Christmas present."

Damon stood up as well. "It's October," he said, squinting.

"Well, you may wait with opening it until December, but that'd be kind of mean," Enzo said, stifling a smirk, before turning around and heading toward the driveway.

xxxdelenaxxx

Elena turned on her side, pulled the bed cover over her and buried her face in the pillow when she heard the bedroom door open. Smiling to herself, she closed her eyes and tried to lie as still as possible. She tucked her hand under her cheek and for a moment held her breath caught off guard by how utterly nice such a simple movement was and how wonderful it felt to just be at home, in her own bed, snuggling her face into a soft pillow, waiting for a kiss.

She heard Damon walk inside, close the door and cross the room. He tossed his jacket onto the chair and Elena willed her heart not to beat faster when he almost soundlessly approached the bed and pressed a light kiss to her lips before walking off and continuing to undress.

When a few minutes later, after a quick shower, he finally came to the bed, Elena suppressed a smile at his quiet groan of surprise upon finding a gift box on his pillow.

With a smile, Damon sat down and looking between Elena and the present began unwrapping it.

Having put the wrapping paper and ribbons aside, he opened the box and took a beautifully decorated journal out of it. The front cover had the words "dear diary" written in silver letters, but the word "diary" was crossed out with a piece of red velvet and below it, made out of tiny red crystals was his name.

His curiosity growing by the second, Damon opened the journal. The first page had a note attached to it:

_The other day I found myself wishing you could read something I wrote in my diary. But since I sent all of my old diaries up in flames... I decided to write a new old diary. Just for you. Some of these closely resemble entries I really wrote. (I even remembered a few sentences word by word!) But the rest are the entries that I didn't write at the time, because I was afraid, I didn't want, didn't know what to write. I know now._

_xoxoooooo_

_Elena_

Damon grazed the signature with his fingertips, smiling faintly to himself when he realized his heart was hammering in his chest. He turned the page.

Brushing several kisses over Elena's back that was turned to him, Damon placed his head on the pillow right next to hers, nestling his cheek into her hair as he draped one arm over her waist, and holding the journal in his other hand began reading:

_November 3__rd__, 2009_

_I had a run-in with Damon today. Well, not really that. I just saw him at the Grill and asked him if he didn't do something more to Jeremy's... brain, I guess (I'm still not sure how this whole compulsion thing works, exactly), besides compelling what had happened to Vicki out of his memory. Because Jeremy seems different now. Or rather he seems more like he used to be. So I asked Damon about that and he said that he'd just taken Jeremy's suffering away. It didn't click with me right away what he had meant, only when I repeated the question and he his answer I realized – and it surprised me that he had said it, because he seems oblivious to the very same mechanism applying to him as well. There's so much hurt in him. I keep snapping at him, because he really does deserve that. But at the same time he doesn't, and I know that too._

_But that's not what I wanted to write about. That night when he came and offered to compel Jeremy... I know, I didn't forget that it was very much his fault it all had happened in the first place, but... when he came that night I got a strange feeling that, stranger still, hasn't really left me ever since. It's ridiculous and the context makes it even more ridiculous, nevertheless... When he came, I just got this inexplicable feeling that everything would be alright. That he would... that he could do whatever I asked, whatever I wanted, needed him to do. That he could do everything. And it made me feel safe._

Elena could feel Damon's fingers press against her skin and she could tell from the rhythm of his breathing that he got engrossed in what he was reading rather quickly. She shifted in her pretended sleep a little, drowsily placing her hand over his.

_March 25__th__, 2010_

_Caroline is the new Miss Mystic Falls!_

_And I should leave it at that, because that's the only happy thing that happened yesterday._

_Which is not true, but I don't know how to put everything that happened into words._

_I should just come up with a single sentence and leave it at that. Or two sentences. Since two happy things happened. Or three. Or none. I don't even know. First of all._

_It was Damon I danced with at the pageant yesterday. And it was... I've never felt like that while dancing. I've only ever seen it happen in movies, but it really was, felt like that. Like everyone else disappeared and we were dancing alone. I was looking into his eyes - and this will sound all kinds of wrong and crazy, but that was so endlessly enjoyable. Just looking into his eyes. It felt like something beautiful was happening. My heart was beating so fast. I'm sure he noticed. But he didn't smirk. Didn't bring it up later. Which in a way makes it worse, because it means that he felt it too._

_We spent the night on the floor in the basement. I'm too tired to write about what had happened that led to this, but... I just wanted to stay there - and he stayed with me. We didn't sleep. He was silent all night and so was I._

_And now I think... that maybe it was me who stayed with him._

xxxdelenaxxx

"Can I talk to you for a minute?" Matt asked, peering into the boarding house's kitchen where Caroline and Stefan were sitting playing a board game and laughing.

"Sure!" Caroline said, rising to her feet. "Brownie?" She asked with a radiant smile, offering a plate to Matt who declined with a brief laugh.

"How did the practice go?" Stefan asked, turning in his chair.

"Surprisingly well," Matt said. "Really well. How was yours?"

Stefan snorted under his breath.

"Well, I guess I didn't take into consideration that cheerleading requires more understanding of the modern world than football does," Caroline muttered with a sigh.

"They didn't like the idea," Matt guessed, holding the door open for Caroline and then following her out of the kitchen and into the library.

"We never got to the idea. They completely resented the fashion," Caroline said, wrinkling her nose. Matt smiled. "We'll think of something else. What did you want to talk about?" She asked in a lower voice, her eyes dimming a little as she expected Matt to have something to say about Tyler.

Matt drew a breath. "Did you ever hear back from Klaus?" He asked and Caroline blinked, completely caught off guard by the question. "You left him a few messages, right?"

"Yeah... yes, I did," Caroline frowned, crossing her arms over her chest. "But he didn't call back."

Matt nodded. "Rebekah didn't either. Don't you think that's weird? I don't know about you and Klaus," he added quickly seeing an uncomfortable expression on Caroline's face, "but we didn't have a fight or anything like that the last time I saw Rebekah. And in all those messages that I left her, I didn't even say it was about Damon. I said that_ I_ needed her help. She _would_ call me back."

Caroline's forehead wrinkled in thought. "We didn't have a fight either," she said with a small shrug. "He did say he'd never come back, but... that was more because... never mind." Caroline rolled her eyes. "I think he _would_ call me back too," she said at last with another frown. "What are you saying, Matt?"

"Maybe they are in trouble."

"Even if they are, what do we have to do with that?" Caroline asked brusquely, in a tone that indicated she was trying to sound convincing most of all to herself.

"I don't know," Matt replied uncertainty. "I just thought... I thought that maybe we could go to New Orleans and..." he trailed off, not quite knowing how to justify his idea.

"What?" Caroline exclaimed with a nervous smile. "You want to go to a city crowded with supernatural creatures to check up on thousand years old evil vampires? You might need a magical superhero cape for that. Unless you just have a death wish."

"So you're not at all worried?" Matt asked, squinting.

"It doesn't matter if I'm worried or not," Caroline huffed in frustration, hint of annoyance in her voice. "Even if they are in trouble, there's nothing _we_ can do about that. Think about it. If _they_ are in trouble? What a human like you could possibly do?"

"I was thinking more along the... a human and a vampire lines?" Matt tried with a cautious smile.

"How about a human and two vampires? Sorry for eavesdropping," Stefan added with a brief smile, leaning against the door frame when Caroline and Matt turned their heads to look at him.

"Really? You'd go with us?" Matt asked hopefully, his eyes lighting up.

Caroline shot Stefan an incredulous look and then shifted her eyes between him and Matt. "Hey, hey, wait a minute!" She threw her hands in the air, silencing them. "Am I the only clear-headed person here? Can someone please explain to me why should I be risking my life for them? After everything they had done to us? And don't give me that look," Caroline said immediately even though Matt's mouth barely twitched at her previous statement. "I _shredded_ my past, OK? I moved on. I'm starting anew."

"I understand," Matt said in the most serious voice he could muster. "But no one's risking anyone's life yet," he said matter-of-factly. "We'd just go there and see what's going on. If there is something going on, then we'll decide what we can or want to do about it."

With a grumpy look on her face, Caroline turned her gaze from Matt to Stefan. "Why do you even want to go?" She asked in slight bafflement.

"I could use a long trip to a faraway land," Stefan said wistfully.

"Go to New Zealand," Caroline suggested, squinting.

Stefan smiled.

Caroline rolled her eyes and laughed a little. "Alright," she said, straightening up and resuming a serious tone. "But if we die, it will be your fault," she said, looking between Stefan and Matt.

"I thought you're already dead," Matt said in mock-confusion and grinned when Caroline grabbed a pillow from the nearest couch and threw it at him.

xxxdelenaxxx

_May 4__th__, 2010_

_How could Damon feed me his blood? How did he dare? How did he dare taking that choice away from me?_

_I'll think of this day, months later, minutes before burning down our house, when I'm slowly pulling the white sheet off Jeremy's body._

_And I want to break his arm. I want to force-feed him all the vampire blood in the world. I want him to hate me forever._

_I just want him to be alive._

Keeping her eyes firmly closed, Elena rolled over onto her other side and snuggled her face into Damon's chest. He immediately responded to her movement, gathering her into his arms and brushing a kiss across her forehead. Doing her best to breathe evenly, trying not to betray not being awake, Elena sleepily draped her arm around Damon and muttered his name, receiving another soft kiss in response.

_September 5__th__, 2010_

_Ugh. UGH. So I walk in (and it's important, and I'm late for school, and I'm really not, haven't in fact been in months, in the mood for immature pranks) and Damon shows up – wearing nothing. And I mean nothing. He must've heard me come in. He had purposefully come downstairs straight from the shower._

_I'm still fuming._

_So infuriating._

_And so hot. So alluring. So handsome. So sexy._

_I need a better place for hiding this diary._

Elena smiled at the sound of Damon suppressing a laugh and then battled with herself for a few moments before giving up the charade of pretending to be asleep. She pressed a few kisses to his chest and looked up.

"So... do you like your present?" She asked with a smile, leaning into his touch when Damon cupped her face in his hand and kissed her.

"It's the best present I've ever got," he whispered into her ear and smiled, nuzzling her neck and kissing his way back to her mouth.

Elena smiled. "I wanted to come up with an original present idea, because..." she trailed off and then shook her head. "Never mind. I'm happy that you like it."

"Because what?" Damon asked with a mischievous smile, pulling them both to the sitting position.

Elena wrapped her arms around his neck and shrugged. "It's nothing, really. It's just... It's not important," she said with a hint of reassurance in her voice, slightly wrinkling her nose at the amused expression on Damon's face. "What?" She asked smilingly, returning a kiss that he pressed to her lips.

"You think I don't know. Or forgot," Damon said, holding Elena in tight embrace, stroking her hair and twirling single strands around his fingers.

Elena's eyes widened a little, a happy smile not leaving her face.

Damon gave her another smile, before turning around and taking something out of the nightstand drawer.

Elena blinked in genuine surprise when he placed a big, round box in her hands.

"Our six-month anniversary," Damon said with a wink.

With a laugh Elena pressed her lips to his. "I love you."

"I love you," Damon muttered back against her lips and Elena gave him an intrigued look noticing a glimpse of nervousness in his eyes.

She placed the present on the bed between them and slowly took off the cover.

The box turned out to be filled with red rose petals and at first sight it was all that seemed to be in it. With a curious smile, Elena sank her hand into the petals and sure enough she found something hidden at the bottom of the box. Another box, a very small one.

She stared at it for a second, holding her breath, but then quickly regained her composure, reminding herself about at least several other possibilities of what a box of this size could contain.

But when she glanced up at Damon the look in his eyes told her that there was only one thing that could possibly be inside.

She flipped the box open.

Drawing a sharp intake of breath, Elena looked at the ring and then shifted her eyes to Damon who was smirking, but his eyes were focused on her in utter seriousness.

He slid off the bed and dropped to one knee beside it.

"Elena, will you spend your eternity with me?" He asked in a voice that was intended to sound light, but any traces of lightheartedness were gone after the very first word and the rest of the question came out a little hoarse and breathless.

Her eyes glimmering, Elena pulled Damon up from the floor and back onto the bed. She sat on her bent knees and cradled his face in her hands. "I've been answering this question for six months now and I hope today you'll at last, once and for all, believe my answer."

She smiled against his lips when he kissed her and grinned when he drew back, took the engagement ring out of the box and slid it onto her finger.

"It was my mother's," Damon said and Elena's eyes darted from the ring to his face.

"It's beautiful," she said quietly, resting her forehead against his. "When are we getting married?" Elena asked, drawing back a little, her arms wrapped around Damon's neck.

Damon seemed to contemplate this deeply for a second. "Tomorrow?"

Elena laughed. "I don't have a dress."

"The day after tomorrow?"

She shook her head with a grin and then squinted thoughtfully into the distance. "Next week?" She proposed after a few moments and there was a glimpse of surprise in Damon's eyes that quickly turned into a look of such complete happiness and joy that it made Elena grin even more.

They kissed and laughed before settling back down. Damon propped his head on one elbow, and wrapped his other arm around Elena. She flung her arm over his chest and leaned her cheek on his shoulder, peering on the page he was about to read when he raised the journal to the level of his eyes.

_October 21__st__, 2010_

_Damon kissed me today._

_I look at this sentence I just wrote and I still can't understand what happened. No, I know what happened, I know that he kissed me. But I don't know why I'm feeling the way I'm feeling right now. Why I'm feeling as if he is still kissing me._

_I'm writing these words right now, looking at the page, my mind is focused on my pen drawing the letters one by one, but somewhere inside, somewhere beneath everything I'm thinking right now, there is that feeling, persistent like a heartbeat, an almost tangible impression of his lips on mine._

_Now my hands are shaking and it's not a good sign. He kissed me. He kissed me and then walked away and I wanted to call after him, but I didn't. What would I say anyway? I didn't know what to say. I didn't even know what to think. I still don't. All I know is that when he kissed me, when he kissed me I felt like something fell into place, like I found something, not something I lost, but rather something that, I don't know, that I needed, something that I need, something that I want. This is so confusing. I didn't want him to kiss me. Even if I almost kissed him yesterday. But I didn't. And he shouldn't have kissed me today. Here comes a sloppy sentence because I just closed my eyes. I can't, I can't stop feeling that, feeling that kiss. I didn't want him to stop kissing me. That's the terrible part. I didn't want him to stop. I wanted him to kiss me more, to hold me. I was so stunned when he kissed me I might have let him do something more than just kiss me. I can't believe I'm writing this. I'll write this and then burn this page. Burn this page and never think of this kiss again._

_But what if he'll kiss me again? I could kiss him back and see what happens. That's not a good plan. That's a terrible plan. No. Yes. I think I have a fever. After he kissed me he looked at me and I could see so much, there was something in his eyes, something warm, something that belonged to me. That makes no sense. I should stop writing right now. What's the point. It's not going to happen again. Why am I even analyzing it. If only I could stop feeling his lips on mine. I won't be able to fall asleep tonight. Or maybe I'll and I'll dream about this kiss, about calling after him when he started to walk away. I'll burn this page. I'm going to burn this page. I say his name and he turns around. I look at him and he looks at me and I run into his arms and he catches me and his hands are so, so warm on my face and his lips on mine, relentless, and he's kissing me, kissing me, kissing me, kissing me._

Elena slightly lifted her head off Damon's shoulder when he shut the journal closed and carefully put it away before turning back to her and crashing his lips against hers.

Elena smiled between the kisses, her hands flying to Damon's shoulders and she cradled him to her as close as possible. Gasping when he released her lips and began placing open-mouthed kisses along her collarbones, she ran her fingers through his hair, closing her eyes and tossing her head against the pillows.

Catching the hem of her nightshirt, Damon slowly pushed it upwards and then pulled it over Elena's head, smiling warmly down at her and not breaking the eye-contact with her until his mouth slowly descended over hers once again.

A sudden knock on the door followed by Caroline's voice didn't register in their minds at first and it took for Caroline to repeat her words that sounded almost like an order for them to actually realize it was real.

"Elena! Damon! You need to come downstairs _right_ _now_!"

Damon buried his face into Elena's hair with a muffled groan.

Elena inhaled slowly, trying to catch her breath. "Is it really important?" She called with a frown, crossing her arms over Damon's back and stifling a laugh when he began nom-noming on her neck.

"Yes, it is!" Caroline called back and before Elena managed to say anything more, she heard Caroline's rushed receding footsteps.

"What time is it?" Damon mumbled against the skin of Elena's neck. She sighed. "We need a curfew for visitors."

xxxdelenaxxx

"What's going on?" Damon asked when he walked with Elena into the living room where everyone was gathered.

"Your friend brought you a present," Caroline said sardonically, crossing her arms over her chest and shooting Damon a glare.

"That's why you woke us up in the middle of the night?" Elena asked in mild annoyance, not even pretending to sound drowsy.

"That's what I was trying to explain," Enzo cut in before Caroline had the time to answer. "That they were ruining the surprise with the whole night alarm thing," he said, slumping on one of the couches and looking between Stefan and Caroline. "I kind of hoped I could just drop the present and leave, but they wouldn't let me," he said with a shrug, propping his feet on the coffee table.

"Yes, well, I'm sure we're all thrilled to see the surprise inside of this intriguing gift box," Caroline continued glaring, now at Enzo and only then Elena noticed a coffin standing on the floor in front of the fireplace in between the couches.

Damon looked at Elena, then at Enzo, then at the coffin, a frown forming on his face.

"What's inside?" Stefan asked, shifting his eyes to Enzo who raised his hands, giving him an incredulous look.

"Has the definition of a surprise changed since the 1940s?" Enzo asked, sincerely puzzled.

A sudden noise coming from the inside of the coffin interrupted the conversation and everyone fell silent.

"That's not creepy," Caroline muttered, glancing at Elena who to Caroline's frustration rolled her eyes.

"Alright." Stefan stepped forward and tore off the upper part of the coffin.

The person who had apparently been locked inside sprang upwards, drawing a hasty and loud intake of breath.

Stefan blinked, wrinkling his forehead in bafflement and then looked up at Damon who just stared at the sight in front of him in utter confusion.

Elena seemed equally bewildered at first, but then a small smile flitted across her lips when she looked at Enzo, before taking Damon's hand in hers and squeezing it a little to shake him out of his astonishment.

Stepping out of the coffin on wobbly legs, Aaron brushed his hands all over his head and his chest as if checking if everything was in place.

"I'm not dead," he whispered more to himself that to anyone else, eyes wide from shock and for a few moments he seemed unaware of his surroundings.

"I wouldn't get _too_ excited, buddy," Enzo said, rising to his feet and brushing imaginary dust off Aaron's shoulders. "You are. But so is everyone else here, so at least you fit in," he said with a smile, tapping Aaron in a mockingly friendly manner on the back before walking off and taking a few steps toward Damon and Elena.

"Before I put him into the trunk, I had fed him my blood," Enzo said, his eyes lingering on Elena for a few seconds before shifting to Damon. "Did I fail to mention that?" He asked in genuine disbelief and concern.

Elena bit her lip, dropping her gaze to the ground. The situation didn't exactly deserve a smile, but she felt like smiling anyway.

"Alright," Caroline cut in, raising her hands. "New rule. Everyone is babysitting only the people they killed. Good night," she said unsmilingly, turning on her heels and marching out of the room.

"Sounds like a good rule," Stefan said with a shrug, glancing at everyone before leaving the room as well.

Aaron looked after Caroline and Stefan for a second before shifting his wide-eyed, half-absent, half-dismayed stare back to the people still remaining in the room.

The awkward silence that fell was becoming unbearable, so at last Elena summoned the friendliest and most encouraging smile she could muster under the circumstances and said:

"You've only missed a couple of weeks of school."

xxxdelenaxxx

Bonnie and Elena spread the blanket over the grass and Caroline placed their picnic basket in the corner of it, beginning to unload the food and drinks.

"Caroline Forbes, you're a hypocrite," Elena said once they all sat down. Bonnie burst out laughing.

Caroline stiffened for a second and then waved her hands in the air, gritting her teeth in a comical manner. "I _knew_ it!" She said, sending a feigned glare Bonnie's way. "But no. No!" She said, lifting her finger and turning back to Elena, "I'm not, actually. I shredded the drawing," she said in such a tone as if it was the achievement that should end any discussion on the subject.

Elena laughed under her breath and Bonnie rolled her eyes.

"Well," Elena started, reaching for a cup, "if-"

"Oh my God, what is that?" Caroline shrieked, grabbing Elena's hand and lifting it to the level of her face.

Bonnie scooted closer to them, her eyes slightly widening at the sight. She shifted her gaze from the ring to Elena's face.

"It is what it looks like," Elena said in a mockingly haughty tone, thrusting her chin and exchanging a smile with Bonnie.

With a sigh, Caroline let go of Elena's hand. "You should request subsidies from the government," she said matter-of-factly.

Elena wrinkled her forehead in confusion. "Why?"

"Because if you swear to be with him forever, the murder rate in the country is probably going to drop for about 80%," Caroline said and despite her best efforts to keep a straight face started to giggle and then jumped to her feet with a shrill scream when Elena narrowed her eyes at her and began chasing her.

Bonnie watched them, laughing under her breath, smiling at the clear sky above and closing her eyes for a second to feel the wind on her face. For the first time in a long time she felt truly happy – and unafraid of the future.

When she opened her eyes, she turned to arrange the plates and the cutlery on the blanket, but her hands were left suspended in the air when she saw the forks and the spoons float above the blanket and fall in their places according to the design that only existed in her mind.

Her eyes wide from exhilaration she didn't dare to believe just yet, Bonnie stared at the sight before her and when Elena and Caroline came back and started asking if everything was OK, Bonnie couldn't help tears rolling down her cheeks when she said in a shaky whisper:

"I think I got my magic back."

xxxdelenaxxx

_October 28th__, 2111_

_We wake up in each other's arms and smile._

_The wind is ruffling the thin, white curtains, the fresh scent of the sea floating in the air, the soft breeze tugging lightly on our hair. We kiss._

_Today is our 100__th__ wedding anniversary._

_And there is an incredible lot of sunlight around us._


End file.
